It's okay to still have feelings for someone who broke your heart, just don't give into those feelings.

photo credit: Shauna Silva

Ever had lingering feelings for someone you completely opened up to, but it ended badly? Probably most of you have been in this situation. It's fucking confusing. You wonder if you should call that person and try to repair what was broken. You wonder if they will ever hit you up. These are the thoughts that suck the life out of you, day in and day out. 
While you're shipwrecked on "Will they/Won't they" island, life is flying by and you are slowly losing yourself. 

Ladies, we are guilty of overly obsessing about things that are an open-and-shut case. You're guilty of it, and I'm guilty of it. The more we think about certain situations, the more it eats away at us. We are 24/7/365 distracted, and we miss out on incredible opportunities. 

Over this past spring and summer, I had someone in my life that I was talking to. He was a guy I knew back in college, and we developed feelings for each other. We explored those feelings during quarantine, and we literally had almost everything in common. We talked about the future, and even made plans to see each other. The plans fell through because he got scared. Red flags started to pop up soon after, and our situation ended horribly. We haven't spoken since August 1st. 
He was the first guy I fully let into my heart. I told him things I didn't tell anyone. I was pretty messed up for the first 2 weeks after he and I stopped talking. After that, I began to rebuild. The rebuilding started within. I started to find strength, love, and respect for myself that I never had. I started to feel complete on my own. 

Here's the kicker: I still have feelings for this dude. That's my problem, though. It's not his. He doesn't need to know (I'm sure some of you are thinking, "Babe, your post is public, he could see it." Wow, that didn't cross my mind at all! I've only been doing this line of work for 11 years. Thanks captain obvi!). If he happens to find out that I have lingering feelings for him, it doesn't matter. What's done is done, and I'm happier in my life without him. His services are no longer needed. 

It's okay to still have feelings for someone, even after shit ended badly. What you need to understand is, if it ended badly, there is nothing to go back to. Release the situation out into the universe, pick yourself up, and embrace your inner goddess. 
I know it's easier said than done, but what is more important to you: your true inner happiness, or the small potential that your ex-beloved will not act like an asshole again? Your choice.

I prefer sure things, like inner happiness. I'm just weird like that. 

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