Revenge Body has become a popular term in pop culture. It's been made popular by KUWTK's Khloe Kardashian. Kardashian made a TV series about helping women across the country achieve a revenge body. While all of that is great and everything, it doesn't solve any problems. You can change the exterior as much as you'd like. If you haven't addressed the inner issues, the exterior will go back to what it was before.
Here's how I know this: I've fucking lived it!
I've battled my weight for most of my life. I was brutally made fun of for my appearance. I was the fat sister, the fat friend, and the girl no one wanted to date. I didn't take care of myself at all.
I had bad fashion sense, bad hair, bad teeth, bad hygiene (during most of middle school, I had horrible snarls and knots underneath my hair. I either didn't tend to them, or I cut them off), and I wished every night that when I went to sleep, I wouldn't wake up the next day. This lasted for decades. I figured my place was to be the punching bag.
Sure, I tried losing weight, straightening my hair, changing my fashion sense, and changing my attitude to something I wasn't. In college, I befriended someone who gaslit me for 19 years after meeting her.
I tried it all. Even though losing weight through the years gained a lot of attention and respect, it was all short-lived. When major life changes happened, I packed on the pounds. I was back to my old self: heavy, unhappy, and absolutely hopeless.
After I had my son in 2018, I wanted to get into the best shape of my life. I lost the 40lbs I gained during pregnancy, within 6 months after delivery. Six months after that, I lost an additional 25lbs. I found myself wearing a size 4 for the first time ever, I was trying to become a personal trainer, and I was showing off my stomach in almost every pic on my (old) Instagram. I wanted to show my body off, so that every single motherfucker that made fun of me in high school and college could eat their fucking words. Some actually did. They overstuffed themselves with humble pie, and it felt amazing. I had my revenge body.
Sadly, that's all I had going for me.
In the summer of 2020, another life change occurred: I ended a 19 year friendship with a gaslighter, I told off a dude I had been talking to for 3 months, I gave up man-made Christianity, and I made a solid commitment to abstain from alcohol for the rest of my life. These life changes would be enough to send anyone spiraling. The opposite happened. As soon as I ended that friendship, I was overwhelmed with the strength and love that poured into my spirit. This was all my doing. I started to respect myself. I started to love myself, and I decided to put myself first in life. When I started putting myself first, I saw an abundance of positive changes in all other areas of my life. I was a better mother, I was a better friend, I was a better daughter and grand-daughter, and I became a better human overall. I wasn't craving online attention like I had in the past. In fact, I deleted all of my personal social media profiles (I only have the ones attached to this website). I was craving my inner peace. I was craving more time with my son. I was craving more time to take pictures with my new camera. I was craving ideas on how to have a better garden than last season. I craved life, nature, happiness, peace, zen, tranquility.
It's been 8 months since my life changed forever. It's been 8 months since I said goodbye to my ex best-friend, the guy I was falling head over heels for, alcohol, drama, etc. I never imagined in a millions years that I would be this person. I still crave my inner peace. I still crave taking pictures, gardening, more time with my little boy, and a few quality friends. I'm about 20lbs heavier than I was a year ago (well, 17lbs. I've lost a few pounds this week).
Life isn't about achieving a revenge body. It's not about achieving a revenge makeover. Life is all about being your authentic self, living in peace and tranquility. It's about not being in competition with anyone. It's about not having the desire to prove yourself to other people.
This year, I'm coming up on my 20 year high school reunion. For years, I had been counting down to June 2021. I wanted to prove to all those naysayers that I became hot, successful, and I still had all my hair. I look back on that mentality and laugh, because it's so ridiculous. Even if a reunion were to be held this year (which isn't looking likely), I wouldn't go. Why would I spend several hours in a stuffy banquet hall, with all the people who bullied me (some of them made up horrible rumors about me that nearly ruined my life)? I have better things to do with my time. I don't need to show off my body to anyone. I don't need to brag about being a self-published author, blogger, photographer, etc. I don't need to brag at all.
People are going to think what they want. What matters to me is what I think about myself. I think I'm a strong as fuck warrior chick, who genuinely does not give two shits about what anyone thinks about her. I live my life by my rules. I'm healthy, happy, peaceful, content, zen, spiritual, and my son is my world.
The moral of the story is: If you want to be healthy on the outside, you need to get to work on the inside. If you only change the outside, it won't be long until all the outside work is undone. You need to get to a place where your soul, heart, spirit, mind, etc are all in alignment. You need to be strong in all those areas, before you start on the cosmetics (weight loss, changing hair, make up, clothes, etc).
There is no half-assing it. You can't be 50%, 70%, 95% ready to change. You have to be 100% ready to change and get to work on making over the inside.
I'm telling you, it is so fucking worth it to work on you. No one can touch a genuinely strong and solid person, who is mind, spiritually, soulfully, and heartfully sound.