Attention guys, if you are genuine about finding love, there are things that you need to know.

photo credit: knowyourmeme.com (not my creation)

Most people covet that "happily ever after" outcome in life. It's human nature to crave love. Many people spend their entire lifetime (cue Kelly Clarkson's first single) looking for that love. It gets harder the older you get. 
With it being the digital age, and with the pandemic closing down bars and restaurants, people have been flocking in droves to online dating websites. Again, it's human nature to crave love, and it's human nature to desire someone in our lives. 

I decided to join a dating site, and I was immediately messaged by A LOT of men. I didn't put a lot of info on my profile. In fact, all I had on there were the basics, and a very witty intro: "Looking for someone to pluck a Banjo while I flick my nipples. No weirdos please." I have a warped personality and I wanted to stand out, LOL (btw, I'm not actually into that. I was just being funny)!

Anyway, I received a lot of unappealing messages that I'd like to share with you. Normally, I would blot out the name to protect the innocent. As you will see, NONE of these guys are innocent. Sorry (you are lucky that I cropped your location out). 

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Guys, if you are genuine about finding true love, there are a few things you need to know:

• If your opening line is about how good you are at eating pussy, you won't get a message back. Yes, many women love when a guy goes down on them. However, lines like that will show that you're into one thing, and it isn't love.
• If your opening line is about providing multiple orgasms, be prepared to not receive a message back. Again, you are into one thing, and it's not true love.
• If your opening line is one word, such as "sexy," we won't take you seriously. Don't get me wrong, it's great when a guy thinks I'm sexy. However, I don't see a guy like Olop11 being into anything more than a one night stand. 
• If you look like you are stoned in your pic, and you ask if I want love, please Bob Marley your way out of my DMs. You look like you are going to fall asleep before I even get wet. 
• Terrible pick up lines: "You look dangerous and I'm an adrenaline junkie." No! We don't like these stupid cheeseball pick up lines!
• Please do NOT offer to pay a woman for sex. That is not sexy. I'm not Julia Roberts, you are not Richard Gere, and this is NOT Pretty Woman. I will give you a dollar so you can go down to the corner store and buy yourself a fucking clue. 
• If you proposition us with: "Mind getting spoiled by a daddy who wants to have fun," we will block you. Incest is NOT sexy, please fuck off stage right. 
• Opening with: "Here kitty kitty from the titie comity," will get you blocked as well. Also, you won't hear from a woman if you do NOT know how to spell. Believe it or not, intelligence is sexy to us. 
• Please don't open with "Know what pegging is by any chance." I actually had to look this up because I had no idea what pegging was. I called my therapist after, because I was so traumatized. I haven't said a word to the guy that asked me this, but he continues to message me. 
• Lastly, please do not open with "I like to play with your box. Will find G spot. Hi." Women will block you for this. This particular guy looks like he can't even find his way out of a paper bag. How will he find a G spot? None of my exes could find mine (honestly, all guys should know where it is. It was taught in sex ed)!

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If you try too hard, we will be completely turned off. If you don't try enough, we will continue looking. If you are YOURSELF, we will talk to you. There is no need to open with overtly sexual comments. That shit can wait until we get to know you better. You want to hit our G-spots so badly? Get to know us. Spend time with us. Learn about our likes and dislikes. Touch our brain and our heart. THEN, you can hit that G spot.
Also, please don't pressure us into meeting you right away. We want to get to know you before we meet you. If you can't respect that, then you can fuck off. 

I may have violated a bunch of girl codes in this post, but IDGAF. I just want to see a better quality of guys out there. While I'm not actively looking (I made my dating profile just so I could get some blog post ideas), I hope that I will be able to find a decent person someday. If I don't find anyone, I'm secure with that. I'm secure with myself to be okay with any outcome in life.    

#onlinedating #dating #relationship #advice #loveadvice #Love #datinglife #romance #sex