If I had a nickel for every time someone on POF called me a "catfish" for not responding to them, I wouldn't have to hook on Main Street to support my habit. I'm just kidding, I don't hook on Main Street. The pandemic killed that dream for me.
Recently I posted about what guys should do (and shouldn't do) if they want to find love. I mentioned in the blog post that I was only on POF for blog post ideas. That angered a few people...sorry (not sorry).
Ever since the dawn of "Catfish," the term is thrown around almost as much as "like (when it's used as a filler word)." For those that are unsure about the definition of "catfish:"
"Catfish" refers to someone who lures another person into a relationship by means of a fake online persona. The term was coined by Nev Schulman, who was 'catfished' himself. He made a documentary about it, gained worldwide attention, and then created a TV show where he helps those come face-to-face with their catfish.
In MY situation, I'm not a "catfish." I used my real pictures, real name, and my real occupation. I didn't start relationships with anyone who messaged me. The people I did talk to wanted to meet me right away, and I wasn't comfortable with it. I told them it was too soon, and they stopped talking to me.
The fact that I'm only on POF for blog post ideas does not make me a "catfish." There are people on that site who are keeping tabs on their kid's deadbeat parent, a cheating spouse, a friend's sketchy boyfriend/girlfriend, and more. Are they "catfish?" No, as long as they are upfront about their reasons for being on that site.
If I wanted to "catfish" lonely people, I'd have pictures of a much hotter female (someone who had blonde hair, and was a size 2 or smaller). I would say that I was a doctor or stripper, something cool like that. I didn't do that.
The real me has blonde/brown bayalage hair, and I'm a size 6. I'm a content writer, and a single mom. I take care of my own, and I refuse to depend on a man or woman for anything materialistic. I can get it myself.
No "catfishing" going on here. I'm just browsing. Move along!
#dating #relationships #onlinedating #cuffingseason #love #blogging #catfishing
Most people covet that "happily ever after" outcome in life. It's human nature to crave love. Many people spend their entire lifetime (cue Kelly Clarkson's first single) looking for that love. It gets harder the older you get.
With it being the digital age, and with the pandemic closing down bars and restaurants, people have been flocking in droves to online dating websites. Again, it's human nature to crave love, and it's human nature to desire someone in our lives.
I decided to join a dating site, and I was immediately messaged by A LOT of men. I didn't put a lot of info on my profile. In fact, all I had on there were the basics, and a very witty intro: "Looking for someone to pluck a Banjo while I flick my nipples. No weirdos please." I have a warped personality and I wanted to stand out, LOL (btw, I'm not actually into that. I was just being funny)!
Anyway, I received a lot of unappealing messages that I'd like to share with you. Normally, I would blot out the name to protect the innocent. As you will see, NONE of these guys are innocent. Sorry (you are lucky that I cropped your location out).
Guys, if you are genuine about finding true love, there are a few things you need to know:
If you try too hard, we will be completely turned off. If you don't try enough, we will continue looking. If you are YOURSELF, we will talk to you. There is no need to open with overtly sexual comments. That shit can wait until we get to know you better. You want to hit our G-spots so badly? Get to know us. Spend time with us. Learn about our likes and dislikes. Touch our brain and our heart. THEN, you can hit that G spot.
Also, please don't pressure us into meeting you right away. We want to get to know you before we meet you. If you can't respect that, then you can fuck off.
I may have violated a bunch of girl codes in this post, but IDGAF. I just want to see a better quality of guys out there. While I'm not actively looking (I made my dating profile just so I could get some blog post ideas), I hope that I will be able to find a decent person someday. If I don't find anyone, I'm secure with that. I'm secure with myself to be okay with any outcome in life.
#onlinedating #dating #relationship #advice #loveadvice #Love #datinglife #romance #sex
It's okay to still have feelings for someone who broke your heart, just don't give into those feelings.
Ever had lingering feelings for someone you completely opened up to, but it ended badly? Probably most of you have been in this situation. It's fucking confusing. You wonder if you should call that person and try to repair what was broken. You wonder if they will ever hit you up. These are the thoughts that suck the life out of you, day in and day out.
While you're shipwrecked on "Will they/Won't they" island, life is flying by and you are slowly losing yourself.
Ladies, we are guilty of overly obsessing about things that are an open-and-shut case. You're guilty of it, and I'm guilty of it. The more we think about certain situations, the more it eats away at us. We are 24/7/365 distracted, and we miss out on incredible opportunities.
Over this past spring and summer, I had someone in my life that I was talking to. He was a guy I knew back in college, and we developed feelings for each other. We explored those feelings during quarantine, and we literally had almost everything in common. We talked about the future, and even made plans to see each other. The plans fell through because he got scared. Red flags started to pop up soon after, and our situation ended horribly. We haven't spoken since August 1st.
He was the first guy I fully let into my heart. I told him things I didn't tell anyone. I was pretty messed up for the first 2 weeks after he and I stopped talking. After that, I began to rebuild. The rebuilding started within. I started to find strength, love, and respect for myself that I never had. I started to feel complete on my own.
Here's the kicker: I still have feelings for this dude. That's my problem, though. It's not his. He doesn't need to know (I'm sure some of you are thinking, "Babe, your post is public, he could see it." Wow, that didn't cross my mind at all! I've only been doing this line of work for 11 years. Thanks captain obvi!). If he happens to find out that I have lingering feelings for him, it doesn't matter. What's done is done, and I'm happier in my life without him. His services are no longer needed.
It's okay to still have feelings for someone, even after shit ended badly. What you need to understand is, if it ended badly, there is nothing to go back to. Release the situation out into the universe, pick yourself up, and embrace your inner goddess.
I know it's easier said than done, but what is more important to you: your true inner happiness, or the small potential that your ex-beloved will not act like an asshole again? Your choice.
I prefer sure things, like inner happiness. I'm just weird like that.
It's the age old question: "Does (wallet) size matter?"
When some women see a potential partner with a lot of money, they see someone who is hard-working and driven. That's a quality they find more appealing than the Benjamin's in his back pocket.
Other women say that they would never date a broke guy because they don't want to be buying a scrub's dinner. Similar women also state that they want a guy that can financially take care of them.
Over the weekend, a friend of mine posted a very good question: Could you date someone who did not have a lot of money? He said that women would never date a man who had no money. He said that in this society, if you fall on hard times and fuck up on money, you need to bounce back fast in order to keep your woman. He said that a woman's friends will be in her head, telling her to leave you.
A few women spoke out against my friend's comment, saying: "As long as the guy works hard, she has no problem making more money. As long as he isn't a deadbeat."
Another woman said: "If a lady can hold her own and a dude treats her right, why does she need his money?"
Then, my friend asked: "What if the man wanted to be house husband and make a home for his wife and kids?"
The same women said that it was okay in their eyes, as long as the bills are able to be paid with one income.
Here's how I feel:
It's 2020 and everyone is broke. It would be foolish to date someone for their money right now. Am I right?
I used to be friends with a female that dated men and women for their cars. Cars made her wet in special places. She likes being spoiled by those she dates.
As for me, I don't care what kind of car he drives, as long as it isn't stolen, and he obeys all the laws of the road.
I've dated rich partners, poor partners, and those in between. I once dated a guy whose family is worth $65 million. That would be a girl's dream, right? Well, it wasn't mine. That guy was a daily drunk, always complained about his family, lived in the past, and went on and on about his rich white guy problems. No amount of money in the world would make me stay with him.
I ran with this one dude who didn't work a whole lot. He smoked weed, and had no ambition. His only redeeming quality is he was good at 'eating out'...that was until he told me he learned how to eat pussy from PornHub. Guys, if you learned how to eat pussy and have sex from watching excessive amounts of porn, please keep that to yourself. That shit is NOT a turn on. Your money will NOT get you out of that one.
I dated a female who was a shift leader at a pharmacy. She made decent money and she paid for most things. However, she was hung up on her ex girlfriend. Her money did not make me stay.
Money does not mean a thing to me. Your drive, ambition, goals, heart, spirit, and soul mean everything to me. If you have to put your money dick on the table in order to impress me, you are not in my league, and you aren't ready for a woman like me.
Put away your wallet and show me who the fuck you are.