On Monday, Sports Illustrated Swimsuit revealed that the billionaire Kardashian was one of the magazine's 2022 cover models. MJ Day, Editor-In-Chief of the magazine, stands by her decision:
"There's so many points in her life where she could have just crawled under a rock and let the world pass her by and just live a comfortable life. But she continues to evolve herself and push on and prove everybody wrong who doesn't want to allow her that permission to be more and do more, and inevitably, she's doing more for all of us by doing that in ways. I applaud that with every ounce of my fiber."
"She failed a bunch of times. She could have quit, but she didn't. And it was very public, her failure. When you're that famous, there's gonna be a lot of people that say a lot of things about you, but her persistence and her unwillingness to limit herself in all these other ways that doesn't necessarily get as much attention as like what she wears to the Met Gala, unfortunately. She just continues to do it, even in light of any type of negativity. I just really stand for that, like, I really applaud that."
What the actual fuck?!
How could the magazine have 3 great cover models in Ciara, Yumi Nu, and Maye Musk, and then add Kim Kardashian to the list?
Is Kim Kardashian a success? Yes (in society's eyes). However, her success stems from a lot of infamy.
Let's talk about Ciara, Maye, and Yumi, whose beginnings are humbler than Kim's:
None of these women achieved their fame from infamy. They achieved fame from having God-given talent, strong work ethic, and heart.
Kim Kardashian's fame began when she was Paris Hilton's assistant/stylist. Then, she did a sex tape with Ray J. Several years after that, she got KUWTK, which catapulted not just her career, but her family's career, to the top. The entire family earned their riches from being overly dramatic, going to any lengths necessary in order to achieve the perfect body, linking up with the hottest entertainers at that time, and talking lots of shit about each other.
If Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue wants to inspire women, they picked the wrong cover model in Kim Kardashian. As a woman, I don't feel inspired by Kim Kardashian. I feel sad. Sad that she stands by her success, and that she believes she is a positive role model for women.
Here's another reason why they missed the mark in picking Kardashian: Met Gala.
This year, Kim went on a CRASH DIET in order to fit into an authentic Marilyn Monroe dress. She lost 18 pounds in 3 weeks, which is incredibly unhealthy and dangerous. Yes, Kim seems okay after her diet, but that's because she is a billionaire and can afford a round-the-clock medical team. If the average person tried that diet, we'd end up in the hospital or in the ground.
By Sports Illustrated Swimsuit picking Kim Kardashian for their issue, they are telling the world that crash diets, eating disorders and such, are sexy and acceptable: "If you want to be a swimsuit cover model like Kim Kardashian, you need to lose 20lbs in 3 weeks...by any means necessary. No exceptions. Even if you die, if you want to be a model, you need to do this. We don't care."
Sports Illustrated Swimsuits magazine, here's what I think about your Kardashian-worship:
Kim Kardashian is not a role model. She is completely damaged. So are the people who applaud everything she says and does.
Do better, society.
The Met Gala was chock full of serious head-turners. Once again, Kim Kardashian steals another Met Gala with a showstopper gown. The gown was an authentic Marilyn Monroe gown that Monroe wore when she sang "Happy Birthday" to John F. Kennedy in 1962. It is widely known that the dress had to be sewn while Monroe was in it because it was meant to be extremely form-fitting.
Kim Kardashian gushed about wearing the iconic gown, saying she "crash dieted" in order to fit into it. She lost 16lbs in 3 weeks, by cutting out sugar and all carbs.
Dieticians are having a field day with Kim's strict dieting. In order to have healthy and successful weight loss, you should lose 1-2lbs a week. Experts state that cutting carbs and sugar the way Kim Kardashian did can result in WATER weight loss, and not fat loss.
Dietician Nichola Ludlam-Raine spoke out about Kim's diet, saying that Kim's extreme diet could be triggering for vulnerable people, and result in eating disorders. Ludlam-Raine recommends that slower weight loss will result in "sustainable weight loss."
Kim's diet isn't the only thing making people talk. It's how she lost the weight physically. The billionaire Kardashian said that she ran on a treadmill and wore a sauna suit twice a day.
Ludlam-Raine said that the diet and exercise regimen Kim created can dehydrate the body substantially:
"When carbs and sugars are cut from the diet, the body loses water and glycogen (carb) stores from the liver and muscles, which fill back up fast as soon as you start eating normally again. For every one gram of carbs we eat, our body holds on to three to four grams of water (unlike with protein and fats), which means that no-carb diets often make people think they've lost fat, but it's actually mainly water."
Folks, carbs are 100% needed in order to stay healthy (the complex carbs, anyway). Healthy carbs provide fiber, energy, phytochemicals, and nutrients in order for our bodies to be healthy, and to fight off illness. Our bodies NEED fuel from healthy carbs.
Healthy weight loss consists of a proper lifestyle change, losing 1-2lbs per week, and trying to eat in a gentle calorie deficit of 500 calories a day (for women, women should net at least 1200 calories per day. Men should net at least 1700 calories per day). Lose weight slowly and keep it off longer.
If you need a reputable site to track your food intake, myfitnesspal is the most popular site around. It's free, and you can also track your workouts.
Speaking of workouts, while fitness is important, what we put in our bodies is more important.
You might be wondering what makes me an expert on all of this. I used to be a certified personal trainer. I'm not one now due to a spinal injury. However, I feel it is my duty to speak out when I see stories like this. Not only does my expertise come from my education, but it also comes from a lifetime of weight issues. I used to have eating disorders, and it is devastating to realize that young girls are looking at Kim Kardashian and thinking that they could drop 16lbs in 3 weeks just like she did.
Her diet was more than just fitting into an iconic dress. She wanted to be the center of attention. She wanted the adoration, the admiration, and to be the hottest woman at the Met Gala. The Kardashian-Jenner women are always trying to "one-up" each other in the "perfect body" department. Khloe is getting all of the attention because of her body. Kylie is getting a shit ton of attention for dropping the baby weight so quickly (let's face it folks, she dropped it fast because she's young. If she were 40 like me, it wouldn't be as easy). Kendall is a popular supermodel, so she is always on point. Kourtney has always looked good, and now she has extra shine because she has found her "forever love." Kim wanted to shine brighter than everyone else.
As a public figure, she has a responsibility to be a better role model than this.
Readers, please do not follow Kim Kardashian's crash diet. It is dangerous, especially if you have health issues. Also, if you are on certain medications like Lithium, the loss of water weight could cause your Lithium levels to go to dangerous levels. This can be life-threatening. I know this because I'm on Lithium and I have to drink a ton of water. Whatever I sweat, I have to replace x2.
If you want to make a lifestyle change, do it the right way. Consult your doctor, use myfitnesspal, and lose 1-2lbs of weight per week.
I'd like to add that making a food lifestyle change is one thing. In order to have long-term success, you have to be 100% in. This means accepting yourself as you are on the inside and wanting to treat yourself right inside and out. It's about respecting yourself: mind, body, and spirit. It's about listening to your body and staying away from every type of toxin (food, drink, people, situations, etc). Choose YOU and celebrate YOU. Don't do it for clout like the Kim K's of the world do (FUCK CLOUT). Do it for YOU. Do it because you want to be the best version of who you are at soul level. Don't do it if you are wanting to fit in with society, be like a celebrity, snag that man/woman, or to be "hot."
Your journey needs to start from an authentic place. When you start, take it slow. You are not in any hurry. Slow and steady wins the race. Crash diets will make you crash. You want to enjoy all your hard work. You can't do that if you crash and burn.
Treat your body, mind, and spirit with respect, and you will not be disappointed.
In a previous blog, I mentioned that I was following a Pesco-Pollotarian lifestyle. Initially, I wasn't setting out to become a Pesco-Pollotarian. I had given up eating pork and red meat as a way to become healthier. In doing that, I have lost over 6lbs since June. I briefly went over my new way of life in the blog post, but I wanted to go more into detail about this diet.
What is Pollotarianism?
Pollotarianism consists of adhering to a poultry (and sometimes seafood) diet.
Back in the 1980s, it was known as pollo-vegetarianism, or semi-vegetarianism. A historian described pollotarians as those who refrain from eating mammals, but eat birds (and sometimes fish).
Pollotarians refrain from eating red meat and pork products. Those who include fish and seafood in their lifestyle are called Pesco (Pescatarian)-Pollotarians.
What is Pescatarianism?
Pescatarianism is the practice of eating seafood as the only meat source.
Are their any benefits to this diet?
While the research on this specific lifestyle is limited, the elimination of red and processed meats provide a ton of benefits:
There are some risks associated with this lifestyle:
Some Pesco-Pollotarians do incorporate eggs and dairy products. I do, but only once in a while. I've transition from regular eggs to Just Egg products. It's a plant-based non-egg egg product. You can read my review of the product here.
Many people believe that both Pollotarianism and Pescatarianism are the gateway to vegetarianism. I've thought about it, and I don't see myself becoming vegetarian anytime soon. I want to thoroughly research vegetarianism before I embark on that journey. Right now, I feel like Pesco-Pollotarianism fits me very well. My fatigue has decreased. I don't feel queasy anymore. I've lost weight, and I just feel so much better. Before I began this journey, I ate like I was about to go to the electric chair. I ate packages of GF Oreo cookies in one sitting, and tons of sushi in one sitting. I was overdosing on bad carbs, and I felt so lousy. I had a lot of things that prompted me to change my ways, but I needed to be ready first. One day, I woke up and I was ready. I haven't had a processed carb in almost a month. I went through horrible carb withdrawal when I began this journey. It was all worth it because I feel so amazing! Nothing beats this feeling!
I hope everyone learned something about Pesco-Pollotarianism. If you have any questions, let me know on social media, or drop me a line on my contact page. Have a great weekend! <3
#pollotariandiet #pollotarianism #lifestyle #healthyliving #diet #healthylife #food #pescopollotarian
Last year was tough on all of us. We dealt with a pandemic, crazy ass people, a Jerry Springer-style election, and the slow return to normalcy (this year). Outside of the pandemic, many of us dealt with personal struggles. I've spoken about some of my struggles in various blog posts. I will sum it up for those who haven't read them: I dealt with a spiritual shunning from my Church (I asked a question about Donald Trump and I was put on blast, and shunned). A woman I was best friends with for 19 years betrayed me in horrible ways. A guy I was into broke my heart (I actually just got over him in the last few months). I reinjured my back, and I am looking at my 3rd spinal surgery in the next few months. I'm a single mom of a developmentally delayed and nonverbal 3 year old boy, so I've been getting him into special therapy sessions, and getting him ready for preschool in the fall. It's an understatement to say that I've had a lot on my plate. Just like everything else in life, I deal and power through.
Anyways, before I returned to my food addiction (I've had a food addiction since age 8), I was drinking a lot of wine at night. I did this in the spring and mid-summer of 2020. On August 2nd 2020, I decided to abstain from alcohol. I've been successful ever since. I realized my root cause, and I fixed it. Unfortunately, since I had no appropriate coping skills, I started eating more. I put on 25-30lbs, and I was lethargic every day. For a few months this year, I was eating entire packages of cookies in one sitting, and eating a ton of sushi in one sitting. I was overdosing on carbs, and I didn't care at the time.
In June of 2021, I realized that I didn't want to gain anymore weight. I needed to relearn a proper relationship with food. Before I did that, I needed to find the root cause of my food addiction. I went WAAAAYYYY back. I realized that I didn't have positive role models to teach me how to appropriately handle stress, anxiety, loneliness, depression, anger, pain, etc. I had zero positive coping skills. I needed to learn some if I wanted to get on the road to recovery.
One day, as I was scrolling through Facebook, I saw a sponsored ad about paint pouring. I had been a huge fan of all mediums, so I watched the video. The video changed everything for me. The woman doing the pouring was making this beautiful abstract shape, and you could witness all the cells on the painting popping out. She then spun the painting around on a lazy Susan, and it was mesmerizing! The painting told this poetic story, and it inspired me to explore this. I was feeling this art medium in the pit of my soul. I needed to try it, come hell or high water!
When I finally received my supplies, I embarked on my journey as a paint pour artist. My first paint pour came out beautifully. When the colors hit the canvas, it made these incredible waves. In some areas, I had cells appearing. I had joined a paint pouring group on FB, and uploaded a photo of the painting. Everyone really liked it, and they gave me ideas for names. One person welcomed me to my new addiction. She's right. I'm addicted, I'm hooked!
Paint pouring has become a solace. It's a way for me to release what I'm feeling in my soul, and put it on a canvas. One of my friends said that my paintings are energy pieces. It's true! I put my soul into what I'm doing, and sometimes the pieces don't come out well. For example, a few days ago, I was working on 2 paintings. They came out shitty. I initially blamed it on being sick with a cold. It wasn't that. I wasn't focused because I was on the phone (the person I was talking to was spewing Bible verses at me. Look, I'm down with G.O.D., but I don't do the radical shit). The whole conversation was weighing on me in a negative way, and it felt like poison to my soul (she took issue with me saying that I listen to my soul more than anything. She said I needed to listen to God. Personally, I feel like God is in all of us, and he or she isn't the Christian god It's a more loving entity). Yesterday I did 4 pieces, and they all came out amazing! There's one particular piece that I love above the others, but I need to add the silhouette of a woman to it. It's going to be mystical and breathtaking (I hope).
So, what is the point in all of this? The point is, we can all get to this place of healthy coping skills. We just need to really find out root cause for overeating, excessive drinking, drug addiction, sex addiction, dating losers, and more. We all are wired to find our comfort in other people. We can find all the comfort we need when we look within ourselves. Also, if you need an outlet, I highly recommend paint pouring. It's so much fun! It can be messy, though!
PS- I've been eating healthy since June 2021, and I'm down 5lbs! I've maintained a plant-based, Pollotarian (A pollotarian is someone who eats poultry but not red meat or pork products) diet since then.
#foodaddiction #healthyeating #weightloss #paintpouring #painting #art #artists
Cyberbullying has pretty much been around since the dawn of the internet. However, with new social media platforms being created every year, people are finding ways to bully others. Unless you have a thick skin, you won't survive the thrashings of the "keyboard warriors."
Andrew Garfield, who ironically starred in "Social Network," recently revealed that he is not on Twitter or Facebook. He said that he does not see how social media could be beneficial to his mental health. He also stated that he is worried about how addictive it could be to read through the comments and see what people think of him. He remarked that he might be "too sensitive" to any naysayers, and he'd rather stay off social media.
We've seen a lot of celebrities take time off of social media because of "keyboard warriors." Those that aren't bowing out of the spotlight, are making a bigger target on their back. Some public figures viciously lash out at those who are speaking ill of them.
Listen, keyboard warriors get hard (or wet) from those who are overly emotional. If they can get the slightest rise out of you, it feeds their ego. When you bow completely out of social media, it has a positive effect. It's positive because you aren't feeding the egos of the keyboard warriors with a lot of emotion. You render them powerless. We all know the saying: "silence speaks volumes." Silence is power here.
I'm the type of person that likes to quietly mess with keyboard warriors. I introduce them to low-key sarcasm, and watch as they get extremely emotional. Then I respond with GIFs only. They get even more upset, and eventually break their fingers from slamming the keyboard so much.
The keyboard warriors eventually leave, and they never come back. It has worked 99.9% of the time.
Are there times when bowing out of social media is appropriate? Yes. I encountered cyberbullying on YouTube. I took down the channel and vowed never to return. That decision came from a place of hurt. When I really thought about it, I realized that I probably shouldn't be on YouTube anyway, because I honestly don't know how to use the site (as a creator), LOL! I don't know how to use the fancy effects, and I'm too tongue-tied on camera. I thought if I kept going with more videos, I would feel more comfortable. Nope. I actually became MORE nervous and self-conscious. The comments were just more salt on an open wound. Could I have risen above? Sure, but it was hurting my spirit to become something I'm not. I'm not a YouTuber. I'm not meant to be a YouTuber.
If you are wondering if saying goodbye to social media is for you, think about each site separately. Which ones serve a positive purpose in your life? Which ones have the most drama?
I know for me, I can't give up my FB fanpage. I have nearly 1,700 amazing fans, and that number continues to grow. I like Instagram because I can showcase my artwork better. I don't like Twitter, so I might actually give that up. I gave up TikTok because I didn't feel comfortable on that site. I can't dance, and my comedy act was going nowhere (I had 3 fans who thought I was hilarious. Everyone else "Boomer'd" me. I'm an older millennial).
If it doesn't serve a purpose in your life, get rid of it. That goes for items, people, and social media profiles/pages.
If you still think you may be "too sensitive" for social media, don't force yourself to stay on social media. Popularity isn't everything, and most guys on dating websites are married or insane. Kick it old school and meet people the "old-fashioned" way. With the CDC telling the fully vaccinated to "take it off," there are plenty of opportunities to meet new people! Dress up, show that mug of yours, and meet some new pals (also, don't be self-conscious, we all have the same facial tan line).
When a bathroom floor challenges you to a trust fall, don't accept the challenge!! Heed this advice if you have hardware in your spine.
Picture this: it's Monday morning. You are barely awake. You enter the bathroom with the intention of relieving your bladder from a night of pent up urine, and showering thereafter. After voiding, you prepare for your shower. You are expediting the effort so you can have everything ready before your kid wakes up. During that rush, you lose your footing and crash to the floor. During your fall, you bang your arm hard on the bathtub. While you are in seething pain from injuring your arm, you panic because of your ongoing back issues. Initially, the back pain was very minimal. You go on and prepare for the day.
An hour later, the back pain starts, and it's horrible.
This happened over 2 weeks ago. I've been in horrible pain and discomfort ever since.
Back story: I've been dealing with a spinal injury since 2013. When the pain first started, it was so agonizing and debilitating, I couldn't walk for a period of time. In 2014, I had my first spinal fusion. That surgery failed, and I developed a complication. I tried to live with it for a few years, and then things got tough again. In 2017, I had a spinal fusion revision. That surgery provided me with a few months of pain-free days. During that time, I went back into the workforce, moved out of my family home, and was completely independent. I was the happiest I had been in years. I was even talking to an ex of mine. In September of 2017, I found out I was pregnant. I wasn't happy about it because I was still healing from my spinal fusion (it takes a year to fully heal). I kept the pregnancy, and I never fully healed from the spinal revision.
My back held up well during childbirth and post-partum life. I was doing great..... up until this year.
Last week I had an MRI, and on Monday, I followed up with my Neurosurgeon's office.
She told me that one of the screws in my back is touching something it shouldn't, and if it goes even further, I could be in even more pain than I'm in now. I also have narrowing throughout the lower part of my spine, along with bulging discs. I'm having a CT Scan in a few weeks, and then I'm following up with the surgeon who operated on me. Usually when I see him, we end up talking about surgery.
That's not all..
They also found that I have an enlarged spleen. The Neurosurgeon's office is concerned enough to forward my MRI results to my primary doctor, so I have another doctor appointment to look forward to.
When I found out about the enlarged spleen, I Googled it. I highly recommend that you NEVER. GOOGLE. ANY. MEDICAL. SHIT. before talking to your doctor first. My idiot brain now thinks that my spleen could burst and I could die. I also have it ingrained in my mind that I could be sick with cancer, lupus, or anything else.
I am trying to heed the Neuro office's advice and take it easy for a while. I can't lift heavy, I have to rest, and I was given a muscle relaxer to help relieve my discomfort. I've had to resort to asking for help from those around me, and that is a hard thing for me to do.
While I am used to dealing with my back injury, I'm not used to dealing with it while being a single mom. It's like this next level challenge that I am desperate to overcome, but I'm equally terrified of. I'm trying to get through it by making light of the situation. I make a lot of jokes. For example, a few days ago, my father asked me if the doctor gave me meds for my pain and discomfort. I told him the doctors gave me meth. While I sent that response as a joke, it was half true: the medicine I was given was Methocarbamol (I didn't know how to spell it at the time).
Another person asked me why I was walking so funny the other day. I told them I was healing from a freaky sex injury. I followed up with "Never have group sex in stirrups while high as a kite."
Don't get me wrong, I am taking my situation seriously. However, I am trying to avoid going to a dark place in my mind where I allow life to shit on me. I've been there before, and it ruined everything for me. The stakes are especially high because I have a child now. If he sees mommy upset, he will get upset. I need to keep everything normal for him, and I will.
Despite all of this going on, I still plan on blogging, opening and operating my online store, and I am currently penning two books.
This is basically what I've been dealing with for the last couple of weeks. Just a few monkey wrenches. Nothing I can't handle.
#blogging #lifestyleblog #health #spinalstenosis #splenomegaly #socialmedia #positiveattitude #spinalsurgery #amblogging
If you are a woman in today's society, society expects you to be flawless.
If you are in the public eye, you have more of a target on your back. Enter Khloe Kardashian.
Khloe Kardashian used to be the strong-minded straight shooter of the Kar-Jenner clan. She was someone that all of us "normies" could look up to. She wasn't rail thin, she had a little extra, she pretty much looked like all of us. Then, she lost weight. Losing weight wasn't enough for her. She needed to be darker, have a tighter stomach, have better boobs, have a smaller chin, a narrow face, have fuller lips, and big wide eyes. This is the image of Khloe that we have been shown for the last several years.
A few days ago, an unedited image of Khloe Kardashian made its rounds on the internet.
The pic was taken by her grandmother, and shared by an assistant to the family. Khloe had a meltdown.
"How dare someone share a pic that shows the true image of Khloe, without it being heavily edited and photoshopped first? The nerve!"
She looks perfectly fine. She isn't overly tanned and her stomach is flat. She has the body of a fit 36 year old woman, who had a baby 3 years ago. All of us mamas would love to look like unedited Khloe.
Regardless of the praise she received for the unedited photo, she is still massively pissed and embarrassed that everyone now knows what she truly looks like.
Her perfect image (in her head) has been tarnished, and now she is....well, human (who knew).
Every single photo that we've seen of Khloe in the last several years has been heavily altered. Add in some plastic surgery, and we have a false representation of Khloe Kardashian. She is deeply reliant on photoshop, because she is terrified of becoming who she used to be. She thinks that if she stays perfect, then she can escape the person she once was. Sadly, she is only running away from herself. Khloe has been running for years. She needs to stop running, stop using photoshop, stop using filters, and appreciate the natural beauty that she is (she really is one of the most beautiful women in the world. Based on how she looked season 1 of KUWTK, and how she looked in the recent unedited pic, she is the most beautiful Kar-Jenner sister).
There are other reality TV stars who are also heavily addicted to photoshop and filters. They even make money off of it. Call me crazy, but I love real people. I love people who are so confident in themselves, that they don't have the desire to use photoshop and filters.
Don't get me wrong. I understand why people use these programs to alter their appearance. Before I became confident and comfortable in my own skin, I used photoshop and filters. Every selfie was altered. I look at these old selfies of mine and laugh, because I look like a fucking alien. There was one day I said out loud: "Why would I hide my freckles?" I love my freckles now. When I lost a ton of weight, I would show off my stomach. I didn't show the entire truth, however. I posed in a way that would hide my excess skin, and I used photoshop and filters to hide my stretch marks. I also made the illusion that I didn't have an excess skin roll above my belly button (my belly button isn't visible unless I lift up the skin). I lied to everyone. When I realized how much I depended on photoshop and filters in order to portray society's vision of perfection, I felt embarrassed.
When Khloe learns to love herself, she will feel that same level of embarrassment that I felt. She will want to get rid of all of those alien-like pics that she touted as being "all her."
As for me, society has no control over me. I was made unique, and there is no one else like me. I love the skin I am in, and I will not rely on software to "enhance" my beauty.
Ladies, please stop listening to society. Society doesn't know you. Society doesn't know your struggles. You don't need software to be beautiful. Being your unique self is beautiful. Embrace your curves, your stretch marks, you frizzy hair, your stomach, your scars, your teeth, everything. Can you imagine how incredible this world would be if we acted like ourselves, and not the stepford wife of society? Fucking amazing if you ask me!
If you want to use filters as a means to be silly, that's totally fine. However, if you are passing off filter pics as being "the real you," that is not okay. Stop lying to yourself. Embrace the actual you: The one that you face in the bathroom mirror every morning.
To those of you who want to spew hatred at me, you have no power here. I'm too secure with myself to take anything you people say seriously.
Pretty much all of us are attached to our electronic devices. It's hard not to be. Unfortunately, it can take a toll on our overall health, wellbeing, and soul vibrations. Too much computer time, tablet time, and phone time, can lead to addiction, depression, and anxiety. It can also take time away from yourself and your family. If there is one thing the last year has taught us, it has taught us that we need to take better care of ourselves.
Spending 24 hours away from social media and other online programs can provide you with more time in the day to focus on healing yourself. You can exercise, meal prep, spend time with family, meditate, masturbate, whatever floats your boat.
Starting Easter Sunday, I will be keeping my laptop off, my tablet off, and my only phone use will be used to communicate with family. I will turn these devices off when I go to bed on Saturday night, and I will keep them off until Monday morning (okay, so it's more than 24 hours).
I am a very spiritual person, and I feel like I can only be at my very best if my mind, body, heart, emotions, and soul are all in alignment. I cannot have distractions. I need a "spiritual recharge day."
I will be writing about my experiences with unplugging each week, and I might talk about it in my Podcasts.
#SundayFunday #Focus #Tranquility #vibrations #karma #wellbeing #wellness #spirituality #electronicdevices #socialmedia #drama
For the last few years, we've seen many public figures giving up social media because they have been dragged so much. Spectators and the media have called many of these public figures "cowards" for opting out of social media websites.
Chrissy Teigan is the latest celebrity to give up social media after being dragged by online bullies. In the months leading up to her departure from Twitter, she was documenting the unimaginable pain associated with losing a child (her third child was stillborn in September 2020). Many users got on her for oversharing her grief, saying she's "looking for attention." She also received a ton of criticism for endorsing now-President Joe Biden. What really sent Chrissy Teigan to quit Twitter was backlash from her business partnership with Kris Jenner.
Others public figures have opted out of social media due to sexism, racism, xenophobia, body-shaming, homophobia, transphobia, and more. This leads a lot of people to wonder if opting-out is actually effective in combating online abuse.
While leaving social media can stop the abuse directed AT you, it will not stop abuse from occurring. Even with measures in place, social media platforms are falling short when it comes to protecting their users. Either social media platforms are doing TOO much (Facebook flags every single thing as being abusive, and puts everyone in FB jail. You can say "cock" and be jailed for 30 days), or they aren't doing enough. I've seen A TON of abuse on Twitter, and these people are repeat offenders. Twitter doesn't do anything to stop it. Instagram doesn't have any concrete measures in place in order to combat online abuse.
Social media needs better filters in place in order to flag content considered racist, sexist, xenophobic, transphobic, homophobic, and body-shaming. Additionally, they need to stop flagging swear words that aren't offensive, such as "cock," and "cunt."
One of my exes would actually hack my account on a quarterly basis. A few times, he would send messages to people from my account, causing all kinds of drama (he actually ended one of my relationships doing this).I was also the victim of a ton of online bullying. People would DM me saying that I was fugly and that my kid is ugly. I had enough.
I did make a new account because this website's FB page needed a host profile. I only added close friends and family on this new profile. I don't share anything personal at all.
It is possible to avoid the online hate if you have to be online. Don't make personal stuff public, and never overshare your life. Never give people ammo that they can use against you. What ever you DO post, be prepared for any type of response. Honestly, the best response is no response/report user/block user. Don't lash out. If you have an online business, lashing out at a hater is one way you can ruin your own reputation, and your business's reputation.
Anyway, being completely off social media definitely helps get the bullies and hate off your back. However, it is still infecting the social media platforms, looking for its next victim. If you HAVE to be on social media, don't engage the online haters. Don't overshare personal details about your life.
Since I work online, my entire life online is professional. I will let out some details about my life, but it will never be deeply personal. I'm not a YouTuber, I'm not one of those internet personalities that will overshare for clout. You won't see that from me. I create content that interests me, and may interest you. I may use experiences from my own life to make it more personable, and to help others in the same situation.
If you have to be on social media, if you see something that is of a bullying nature: screenshot it, report it to the social media platform (and/or the police), and block the bully.
Be safe online, and make choices that are healing to your soul.
#socialmedia #onlinebullying #facebook #instagram #twitter #lifestyleblogger #amblogging #onlinewriter #blogging #advice
The term "gaslighting" has become a buzzworthy word in our vocabulary. It's been used to describe the most toxic individuals in our lives. These people can be anyone, from a parent, to a lover, to a sibling, to a best friend, etc. Sometimes we don't even realize that these people are causing so much trauma in our lives, until it's too late. They have become so methodical in their psychological manipulation of our psyche. We go with it because we don't know any better.
Gaslighters are typically abusive, narcissistic, cult leaders, clergy members, and dictators.
To better understand a gaslighter, lets look at the definition and signs of a gaslighter:
How can you tell that someone is a Gaslighter?
These are just a few of the signs to look out for in a suspected gaslighter. These gaslighters feed off of confusion and weakness. The more you show of both, the more turned on the gaslighter gets.
If you have a close friend who is a gaslighter, it can be a rough situation. This is someone you have chosen as your non-blood family. You have great times together, and you've practically grown up together. While all of that is great, what about the meat of the friendship? How do they treat you in both good times and bad? Do they ever turn all of the attention on themselves? Do they take a traumatic event in your life, and spotlight their own semi-traumatic event? When you call them out on it, do they get mad? Do you ever put in all of the grunt work in the friendship (leaving your phone on all night long in case they need to talk, staying on the phone for hours while they sob about the person they are dating, etc), but they cannot do the same? How about good situations? Do they try to take credit for your good situation, or do they try to outshine you?
These are all questions you need to ask yourself.
Friendships are 50/50. It's not a competition. It's not a power struggle. Friendships are your chosen family.
Can you break away from your gaslighter friend?
Absolutely! It's not easy though. It's important to know the signs. It's important to ask yourself questions about whether this is a healthy friendship for you.
It doesn't matter if you have been friends with this person for 5 years, 19 years, 30 years, 40 years, etc. If a friendship is toxic, it needs to end. It may take time for you to gather the strength to end the friendship. Again, it won't be easy. You will lose a few friends along the way (these are the people that the gaslighter tricked into hating you). You will go through a small period of time trying to put out fires. The longer a friendship is, the more fires you need to put out (people will be questioning your sanity because you ended such a long friendship). The gaslighter will be fueling the flames by talking massive amounts of shit about you on social media. If people believe that person, you don't want them in your life anyway. What the gaslighter says doesn't matter.
Life does get a lot easier afterward. You will find that the drama in your life has lowered exponentially. You will feel light and free, better than you have felt in years.
I will say this: do not stoop to their level and blast them on social media. Two wrongs don't make a right. Let them sink themselves. Be the bigger person and move forward. I guarantee you, while you are living your best life months later, they will still have your name in their mouth, low-key blasting you on social media. Let them do their thing. I guarantee you, everyone is getting sick and tired of the person constantly bitching about a friendship that ended several months ago.
If you are currently being gaslit by a close friend, please take an evening to evaluate the friendship. Write things down, like a pro/con list. Imagine your life without this person. Meditate. Really look inward and channel your soul. If your heart, brain, soul, every fiber of your being, is saying "end the friendship," you have your answer. You know what you have to do. When you do end the friendship, don't let the person manipulate you. End it and leave. If they couldn't respect you during your entire friendship, why should you respect them during the dissolving of the friendship?
I hope this helps someone.
#gaslighting #psychology #mentalabuse #friendships #TuesdayThoughts