One year ago, OITNB star Danielle Brooks gave birth to a beautiful baby girl named Freeya.
While Brooks has ample amounts of body positivity, she has been struggling with accepting her postpartum body. She has been watching her Hollywood peers 'snap back' to their pre-baby bods, and it has left her feeling 'shame.'
She opened up about the 'shame' she has felt, in an intimate post on Instagram:
"As someone who coined the phrase #voiceofthecurves I’ve muted my voice for a few months now out of shame. I felt shameful of gaining weight. Even though I brought a whole human into the world, I still felt shameful because I wasn’t able to maintain my normal body weight post- pregnancy. And a year later i have only lost roughly 20lbs of a 60lb weight gain. I was quiet in hopes to post that snatch back photo like so many celebrities miraculously do. But that’s not my story." 

She went on to talk about how she is working on becoming healthier. She also said that "it's okay to show the in between of growth. You ain't always gotta have it all the way together."

Girl, I felt that. I've struggled with weight my entire life, and when I became pregnant with my son, I was not looking forward to the weight gain. I gained 40lbs with my son, and I didn't 'snap back' right away. It took me over 5 months to lose 40lbs, and another 3-4 months to lose an additional 22lbs. I got down to the lowest weight I have ever been, and I was a size 4. I kept it off for nearly a year.
​Then, the pandemic happened. I gained 20lbs back. 

I digress. I remember feeling 'shame' for not snapping back to my pre-pregnancy weight right away. I have friends who had gotten right back to their pre-pregnancy weight within a month after giving birth. I saw celebrities like Khloe Kardashian who bounced back within a few months after giving birth. It took a long time to turn off that voice inside of me that was overly self-critical. After I gained 20lbs back, I heard that overly self-critical voice. I shut that motherfucker up quickly. I thought about all of my good qualities and focused on that. I'm not in competition with anyone. I won't allow competition to silence my inner peace. 

NeNe Leakes had an opening phrase during her time on 'Real Housewives of Atlanta,' "I'm not keeping up with the Joneses, I AM the Joneses." We are not in competition with anyone. There is no one we need to keep up with. Life is not a sprint. It's a marathon. There is no rush. Keep it going, keep it movin, and enjoy the babies!

Danielle Brooks, you are fucking fabulous babe!

#OITNB #DanielleBrooks #babyweight #weightloss #postpartumlife #pregnancy #momlife

*Trigger Warning: The following post discusses sexual and domestic violence against women and children.*

2020 will go down in history for many reasons: coronavirus, the American president questioning democracy, stay-at-home orders, virtual schools, working from home, and more. Another reason why 2020 will go down in history is because of the surge in domestic violence cases. 

It is being called the invisible, or shadow, pandemic: domestic violence against women and children. Rarely is it ever talked about by mainstream media, but that does not mean the problem doesn't exist. Even before the pandemic began, 1 in 3 women on this planet experienced physical or sexual abuse, mainly by an intimate partner. These numbers have surged in nearly every country, including the United States. 
Since the dawn of the pandemic, domestic violence hotlines have seen an increase in phone calls. Sexual violence, and other forms of violence, has only increased in intensity in public, behind closed doors, and online.
Sexual violence and domestic violence survivors are running into another problem: limited access for support. In many countries, officials have put more effort into combating coronavirus, and less on services needed for victims of abuse. 

Without support, women and children are dying by the hands of a loved one. Home is not a safe place. While combating coronavirus is important, we cannot ignore the devastating statistics of women and children that are victims of domestic and sexual violence. Officials need to do more to save these women and children. Feminist groups, women's rights groups, children advocates, domestic violence support groups, everyone, needs to pitch in and save these women and children. 
Every kind soul deserves a safe space. Women and children should not be sheltering-in-place with their abuser.  

My story
When I was a young child, I was physically and emotionally abused by my mother, and physically, emotionally, and sexually abused by her boyfriends. I wasn't safe at home, and when you're a kid, there aren't that many places to go. I was stuck and in fear of the world around me. 
To this day, I have flashbacks from the most violent aspects of my childhood. When I was 6 or 7, I witnessed my mom's boyfriend beat the hell out of her pregnant stomach. I was frozen in fear, and eventually blacked out. This is perhaps my biggest PTSD moment.  

When I think about women and kids being abused during this pandemic, I can feel how small their home must be to them. I can feel the pain, the fear, the stress, and the depression they are feeling right now. These victims are feeling incredibly trapped, to the point they cannot breathe. It physically makes me ache for these women and children. As a survivor, I want to raise awareness about this.

We need to do our part to raise awareness about this shadow pandemic. Join me!

The coronavirus pandemic has caused devastation throughout our planet. Millions have lost jobs, economies are buckling under the pressure, hospitals are incredibly stressed, and schools have been remote (or closed) for most of the year. 
The virus is also impacting gender equality. The United Nations reports that gender equality has been set back many years, due to the pandemic. UN Women looked at data from 38 countries, and created surveys for 50 countries to fill out. 

These surveys found that more women are taking on more of the household tasks than men are. About 60% of women and 54% of men have taken on increased amounts of household chores since the onset of the pandemic. Additionally, women were more likely to leave the workplace in order to take on these household chores. It is estimated that women spent 30+ hours per week on taking care of school-aged children. The time women have spent on childcare is the average time spent at a full-time job per week (honestly, as a mom, these numbers are low. I believe they are much higher). 
At the end of the second quarter of 2020, 321 million women were no longer in the workforce.

Women and girls have also been the victims of violence. Refugee women and girls have been the victims of heinous acts of violence. Women and girls have also been the victims of increased domestic violence, sex trafficking, sexual exploitation, and child marriage. 
Most cases have not been reported, due to the lack of opportunities victims have to report these heinous crimes. In some countries, displaced families have forced their children into marriages, just so families can attempt to survive. These situations end up with children as young as 5 being raped, girls as young as 11 are impregnated, those who are impregnated suffer complications, and many are even killed. 

Recap: Women are forced out of the workforce because of the pandemic. Women have to suffer the brunt of the household chores. Violence against women and girls have reached frightening levels, and these victims have no one to turn to. 

When some of you bitch and complain about having to wear masks, pay fines for not wearing masks, and holidays that have to be slightly altered, think about what others are dealing with. Poverty is at a record high. Women have left the workforce to take care of their children and do housework. Women and girls are being assaulted, killed, raped, and young girls are being trafficked and married off. This is real shit going on. 

We all need to come together as the HUMAN RACE, and beat covid. We all need to work together. The "every man for himself" mentality isn't working for anyone. 

When people think of the phrase "Alpha female," they think of a manipulative, bossy, condescending, emasculator. Those qualities are NOT true Alpha female traits. These traits are usually exhibited by a woman who is overcompensating for their weaknesses. 

A true Alpha female does have a strong personality, but they are solid from the inside out. They are unwavering in their inner and outer strength.
Here are some of the traits of an Alpha female:

1. She pulls people together in a social setting.
   True Alpha females work the room. They are social butterflies, who make connections, solve any problems within the group, and makes sure everyone around her is comfortable.
2. She is steadfast in her beliefs and values.
   A true Alpha female will not buckle under injustice. When confronted, she will express her feelings without hesitation. People may call her difficult, but she refuses to be a mindless sheep. She marches to the beat of her own drummer, and she refuses to change in order to please anyone.  
3. She never gives up.
   A true Alpha female has been knocked down millions of times, but she gets back up and acts like nothing happened. She doesn't wallow. She is optimistic and resilient. 
4. She oozes self-confidence. 
   People may think that the Alpha woman is arrogant, but that is not true. She knows who she is at her core, she knows what she wants, and she reminds herself who the fuck she is when she is knocked down. She does not brag when she reaches a goal. She lives quietly. She works on her inner peace. She has self-respect and dignity. 
5. She unapologetically lives her truth.
   In a world where society dictates how we should live, the Alpha female lives her truth. She dresses how she wants to dress, talks how she wants to talk, and she makes life decisions that others may not understand. She doesn't give a damn if people talk behind her back. She is too busy being in her inner peace, and living her truth, to care about haters.
6. She works toward her goals.
   The Alpha female works diligently to better her life. She may have had things happen in life that sidetracked her, but she doesn't stop working toward her ultimate goal. She finds a detour. 

I've heard women say that they are Alpha females. They are usually the ones who don't have any confidence, who give up when life throws them lemons, and those who are overly bossy. 
An Alpha woman is humble, relentless, and they have this security about them. They are solid from the inside out. They don't see society's endgames as their endgames. They do what makes them feel whole, while at the same time inspiring other women to have the same inner strength. 
​
#alphafemale #strongwoman #feminist #selfworth #selfconfidence #women #inspiration #inspiringwomen #female

Time out! Not only is this a holiday week, it is ALSO the premiere week for the Saved By the Bell reboot! 
As we all know, most of the original actors are reprising their roles in order to introduce a new generation to the magic of Bayside High. 

Elizabeth Berkley-Lauren is out promoting the reboot, and she sat with "Today" to talk about iconic moments from the original series. Some of those moments consisted of the caffeine pills episode, many of their dance and song episodes, and the Miss Bayside episode where Jessie did a dramatic monologue about turining into a butterfly. 

Toward the end of the interview, Berkley-Lauren talked about what she loved most about playing Jessie Spano as a teen:
"I love that Jessie was confident and a little bit ahead of her time. She never apologized for being bold. And I really respect those qualities in women. I’ve been raised by an amazingly strong woman, my mom, and grandmas. And amazing female forces in my life have always shown me to speak up and speak out. And I loved being able to play a role like that, especially during a time where there weren't a lot of roles where you saw women be that strong without apologizing."

I grew up watching Saved By the Bell in the 1990s. I loved the character of Jessie for the exact same reasons. Jessie was a bold young woman. She seemed older than her friends because of that boldness. She knew EXACTLY who she was, even as a teenager. 
There weren't that many bold female characters on TV, let alone bold teen girl characters. Jessie Spano was a trailblazer for Gen X and Xennials, generations that were teens when SBTB episodes premiered. 

While I'm glad that we currently have shows that feature female leads, we still have a long way to go. Strong female characters should be represented better on TV, and in movies. It's important that girls realize that it is okay to be unapologetically bold. It's okay to be strong and free-thinking. Girls should not be afraid to speak up.
Girls need these role models!

The Saved By the Bell reboot will be premiering November 25 on PeacockTV!

Christian singer-songwriter Nichole Nordeman has dominated the Christian music scene for a very long time. While her messages have always been about faith and inspiration, sometimes even the most faithful have a breaking point. 
On November 20, Nordeman took to Twitter to share some tragic news: her aunt was diagnosed with covid 19, and died 8 hours later. Nichole expressed how painful it was that Nordeman's mother could not be there to pray for her dying sister. She then went on to scold other Christians who defy the mask mandates. 

Such words are a "slap in the face" to the evangelical white culture that makes up a majority of the Christian culture. This majority follows Donald Trump's belief that "covid is a hoax," and that wearing masks is a "means of liberal control." 

I applaud Nordeman for standing up for what she feels is right. My heart breaks for the loss of her dear aunt, and I'm sending hugs from the Nutmeg state. 
I've been in the Christian culture before. I've seen Christian artists who have said less, and it ended their careers. This is the type of hypocrisy that has turned me away from Church. The very moment you go slightly against the Trump grain, you are shunned. It happened to me this year. 

The Churches are infected with hypocrisy, and they are following the wrong message. Everyone has been so focused on Trump's rhetoric, that they've turned away from the true message of the Bible, of Jesus' teachings, and of faith. The greatest commandment of all is love. Nichole Nordeman spoke from a place of love, and pain. 

Back in October, Nordeman expressed her confusion as to what we should choose from, and she mentioned "Jesus OR science, Jesus OR data, Faith OR facts." She brought up a very good point: "Why must a Christian sacrifice their brain on the alter of belief? God created both to live in tandem not tension."

THANK YOU! I'VE BEEN SAYING THIS FOR MONTHS!

#NicholeNordeman #Christians #covid_19 #coronavirus #Church #evangelicals #gospel #wearamask #sabbathday

2020 has been many horrible things. It's been the year of coronavirus, deaths, jobs lost, lockdowns, a bat shit crazy president, and an election that won't quit.

For Rebel Wilson, 2020 has been the year of 'Health.' 
Rebel Wilson embarked on an inspirational weight loss journey, and she took all of us along with her. The 40-year-old actress has shared pics and vids from her workouts (she has been working out with trainer Jono Castano 7 days a week), and she has been looking fitter and fitter by the day. 

On Friday, Rebel Wilson revealed her fit bod in a way she hasn't before. 
Wilson wore a black and white sports bra, bike shorts, a pink hat, and pink flip flops. She showed off her toned stomach, toned shoulders, toned legs, and toned arms. 
She captioned the pic with "What up BE-AtCH! (Woke up early, ready to smash a beach run)."

​She isn't "Fat Amy" anymore. She is "Fit and Fierce Amy!"

Rebel is a global goddess. She is fierce, incredible, and she has inspired so many with her journey. Get it, girl!

#RebelWilson #fitlife #weightlossjourney #wellness #MayrMethod #girlcrush

Kelly Osbourne ain't about to reward fat-shamers with her goodies! 

Last week, Kelly Osbourne went onto "The Talk" and discussed her incredible 85lb weight loss. She told the ladies that she once rejected multiple men in one day, due to the fact that THEY rejected HER pre-weight loss. 
"It was all guys I had shown interest in before but had all made comments about 'she's great, but she's too fat.' So it was all of those people that came back around again, so I was like, 'no no.'"

She also called out the people who say she underwent gastric sleeve for a "quick fix."
"I did one year of therapy before I even committed to doing the surgery that I did, which was the gastric sleeve, and I did the gastric sleeve almost three years ago. So when I say it's not a quick fix, it is not a quick fix. You have to eat right, you have to work out, you have to do everything that you would normally do."

Kelly Osbourne, 36, has been on this journey since 2009. Like all of us, she has yo-yo'd with her weight, but she has never given up on herself. 

My Two Cents
I feel her. I battled my weight most of my life. In high school, I was over 250lbs! Through the years, I struggled. When it comes to the fellas, no one would look at me because I was overweight. One dude actually told me that "men don't date fat chicks, they just fuck them." I had another dude compare my "massive body" to Adele at her heaviest (for a short time I resented Adele because I hated the physical comparison. I broke out of that quickly, and thanked him for comparing me to a talented and beautiful singer. This was all before she lost weight). 
These dudes came around when I lost weight. I slimmed down to a size 4 petite (I'm a 6 now, thanks to pandemic/election stress). I kinda had a kid with one of the dudes (this was the only time I gave a fat-shaming asshole a chance). A bunch of dudes I went to high school with actually friended me when they saw my weight loss (some of them DM'd me on dating sites). 

I will be friends with dudes that rejected me for being "too fat" in the past, but I will NEVER date them (again). 

As for weight loss, while I lost my weight with diet and exercise, I don't knock people who opt for weight loss surgery. Weight loss surgery is not an easy decision, and unlike diet/exercise, it has its risks. You have to be mentally and emotionally prepared for it. Additionally, you have to maintain your results with diet and exercise. People need to stop calling surgery a "quick fix." 

Kelly Osbourne, keep being the fierce goddess you are!  

#KellyOsbourne #fatshaming #bodyshaming #weightloss #gastricsleeve #glowup

​If you were looking for the same dumpster fire trainwreck that we witnessed during the first debate, you were SOL. The third and final Presidential debate was more controlled, and it had a lot to do with the moderator. 
NBC News journalist, and White House correspondent Kristen Welker, moderated the debate between President Trump and former Vice President Joe Biden. Due to the extreme escalation of personalities during the first debate, a mute button was introduced during the final debate. 
Welker laid out the rules for both POTUS and Joe Biden, ahead of the debate. Both men were allowed 2 uninterrupted minutes to answer Welker's questions. Joe Biden showed respect by not speaking out of turn. As predicted, Trump was muted....twice. 

Trump showed extreme misogyny toward Kristen Welker when she told him that it was time to move onto the next question. He kept putting his hands up, saying: "Excuse me, let me finish." She graciously gave him 10 seconds to finish his thought (he went over the 10 seconds every time).

The funny part about all of this is, after he talked massive amounts of shit about her before the debate, and after he acted misogynistic during the debate, he tried to sweet talk her by saying: "You're doing a terrific job." Kristen wasn't fooled. She knew what he was doing. 

Kristen Welker is a Harvard educated woman. She was ready for what he was going to do. She wasn't shaken when Trump showed his ass. 

Kristen Welker, on behalf of voters everywhere, thank you! You did a great job keeping the wild beast quiet, and giving Biden the room to speak. You were poised, professional, and strong.
​Girl, I wish I could buy you some wine. Being stuck in the same room as Trump for 90 minutes would drive anyone to pour a glass and turn up!