Ever sat in front of your phone (or computer), expecting to hear back from someone that you had a great date with? I'm sure most of you have. You sit there thinking about how attractive this person was, how great the conversation was, and how delicious the dinner was. A smile appears on your face, and you light up inside.
However, you realize that it's been about a week, and you haven't heard from them. Suddenly, the smile disappears, and you feel puzzled.
You go to that place in your head where you start making excuses for their obvious ghosting:
We fail to realize the possibility that the date may not have been as good for them as it was for us. We fail to realize that they didn't care to maintain contact with you. Why? Because they didn't connect with you.
We call them, thinking that maybe they forgot your number. They don't answer. You leave a message on their voice mail, with your number included in the message. They don't call back. The next day, you call them again. It goes straight to voice mail. You leave a message. Again, they don't call back. Now, disappointment ensues.
"Why haven't they called?" "Why haven't they called ME back?"
There are two sides to every story.
Dating is a volatile environment. If both parties have a different story about how a date went, obviously you both didn't connect on a higher level. In your eyes, the date went well. They smiled a lot, listened to you talk, maintained eye contact with you, and hugged you before parting ways. All the signs of interest were present.
Or were they?
People go on dates in order to see what kind of person sparks their interest on a deeper level. True, you met the qualifications appearance-wise, but did you spark their interest intellectually? If they aren't making contact with you after the date, you may not have sparked their interest. They don't know how to tell you they aren't interested, because they are afraid of hurting your feelings.
"Well, I called them...why didn't they call me back?"
The primal nature of the masculine energy (this can be a male or female) is that they are the hunters. If they want something bad enough, they get it, including the feminine energy.
Masculine energies like being in charge, so if a feminine energy pursues a masculine energy, they are less likely to be interested in you. Yes, we live in more progressive times, but dating is still an old-fashioned environment. Don't take control of the situation. Let the masculine energy lead.
If a masculine energy is truly interested in a feminine energy, it doesn't matter how busy a person is, they WILL call. Sometimes, they may call a few times a day, even if they hate the phone. If you've stolen the masculine's heart, they will bend over back words to make you happy. Masculine energies find a way to communicate with the object of their desire.
"So, they aren't interested in me. Now what?"
Live your life as you did before you went out to dinner with them. It isn't the end of the world if you didn't meet their interest. Not all people meet YOUR interest, right? I'm sure you don't call those people back. Like masculine energies, you don't know how to tell them you don't like them, and you don't want to hurt their feelings. Both sexes do it, so it's hard to hold either in a higher standard.
If both the masculine and feminine energies have a different story about how a date went, obviously you both didn't connect. If a person doesn't call you, it isn't the end of the world. Keep living your life, and the right one will come around when you least expect it.
(previously featured on Yahoo! Contributor and The Water Cooler)