Handling a lack of support from loved ones can be emotionally challenging, but it's possible to navigate this difficult situation and find sources of strength and resilience within yourself and from other sources.
Here are some steps to consider:
If you find that you cannot locate your support, ride-or-die tribe, continue self-healing. You are stronger than you know. The ones who shine the same light you do will find you.
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All of us have at least one person on our Facebook friends list that does the following:
It can be rather tiresome to sign onto Facebook and see the drama spewing forth from their end of the internet. While you do not want to be rude and delete the person, you also do not want to get stuck seeing their business every day. So, what is a person to do? You can "unfollow" a person without "unfriending" them. By "unfollowing" a person, you will only see the information that they share publicly (it will have the world symbol next to the time the submitted their post). To "unfollow" a person, simply go to the person's profile and click "following (the button is located on the cover photo)." You will see a drop-down menu. Choose "unfollow." From this point forth, you will only see their publicly shared posts. If they post all their business for the entire site to see, you will have to make a judgment call. Happy Facebooking! Before you bring last season's clothes to the clothing donation bins, you might be interested in hearing about the truth behind Planet Aid.
It seems like everywhere you go, you spot these yellow clothing bins with Planet Aid written on them. Along with what is accepted in the bins, you learn more about the charity and where your used belongings will go. Hate to break it to you, but Planet Aid is blowing smoke up your a**es. Not only are your clothes NOT going to the needy in Africa, but they are also supporting a Danish international fugitive named Mogens Amdi Peterson. NBC Washington looked up Planet Aid's IRS documents and found that the organization makes nearly $42 million per year, and NONE of that money goes to helping the needy. Not only that, but Planet Aid is also being controlled by an organization called Tvind (The Teachers Group). It was founded by Mogens Amdi Peterson. TVind is a humanitarian cult that makes its members transfer ALL of their income to a joint savings account. Members also have to relinquish their personal rights. Peterson is actually an internationally wanted man. He is wanted for fraud and tax evasion. NBC believes that Peterson is hiding out in Mexico. If you are looking to donate your used items, you may want to go with the following organizations:
Buried in debt? You're not alone! Receiving phone calls from a debt collector can make you sick to your stomach. It's an incessant reminder of how deep you are into debt. These debt collectors call multiple times per day, leave messages, and are sometimes rude to you. It is enough to make you want to put that debt collector's number on a call block app and just be done with it. Problem is, you will not be done with it, and you will be making the problem exponentially worse. Sweeping your debt under the rug does not help you. It puts you, and your future, at risk. Nowadays, when you go to look for certain jobs, employers look at your credit rating. If you have a poor credit rating, you will not get hired. If you go to lease an apartment or a car, if you have poor credit, you will not be approved. If you are severely defaulting on your student loans, and are desperately wanting to go back to school, you will not be able to. Federal Student Loans are not given out to folks who are severely defaulted on their previous loans. So, if you are looking to finish that degree, you are out of luck. One other thing I would like to add, if you are defaulting on your student loans, your interest rate goes up, and they are able to garnish your wages. You don't have to owe money to the IRS to have your wages taken away from you. Student loans can do that to you too! Don't let debt ruin the plans you have for your life. Speak with someone today about settling your debt. Most places will be able to work with you regarding a payment plan. As long as they are receiving a payment from you, you will be fine. I have used Lexington Law to help with my debt. You do have to pay a fee to them per month, but they will go to bat for you. They were able to close some of my debt. When it comes to student loan debt, it's a little tricky. I suggest you speak with your debt collectors about your student loans. One thing that I respect about artists is that none of them created their art in the same manner. Each artist did something different. Each one put a little bit of themselves into their work in order to make it 'theirs.'
We seem to be losing that as the years go on. There was so much in terms of individualism back in the day. Nowadays, we have music that sounds exactly the same, art that looks the same, and many book plots that we've all heard before. There is no individuality. Either a person is copying an icon of the past, or they are trying to 'one-up' the competitor next to them. What happened to us as artists? Why are people coloring in between the lines? When I was in college, I took a lot of art classes. I loved art. Most people took art as a 'bird course.' I took it because art made all the chaos in my world go silent. I was able to fully relax. It was my therapy. When I took Drawing I and II, my professor both loved and hated my drawing techniques. I sort of steered off course from my classmates and did my own thing. Sure, I'd be drawing that bowl of fruit, but I would be adding warmth to it and shade. In my eyes, it came out beautifully. My professor hated it at first because it wasn't textbook. After the first half of the semester, he began to love it. He said that it was my signature technique (I also loved using charcoal. I was the messiest person in class because my hands would be completely blackened from the charcoal, LOL). I've always been the one who 'colors outside the lines' in terms of the way I live my life. Sure, I've tried to submit to what society expects of me. But I realized that it wasn't ME. I was born to be different. I'm an individual. Even with writing, I don't follow the rules. Sure, I know the basics and I know when I need to obey the rules. However, during my 'off time,' I'm going to do my own thing. When I'm doing work for clients, I'm professional. When I'm working on my blogs, I'm casual. Even in my professional pieces, I add bits of my character in it. I don't want my posts to be one-note. Folks, Oscar Wilde is right on with this quote. You won't find more individualism than in the works of art. Life can be very unpredictable. Everything in a relationship could be fine one moment, and in an instant, it could all change. A wife starts showing signs of illness. The wife rests for a few days, but she does not seem to be getting any better. A trip to the doctor, and a few tests later, the doctor reveals that your wife is very ill. The wife will require constant care as she recuperates. It is now up to her husband to care for her. The husband works a full-time job and is now his wife’s care giver. One month later, she notices that he is exhausted and withdrawn at times. She feels terrible about putting him through this. She wonders if her illness is putting too much stress on her partner. Situations like the one above is fairly common. A spouse becomes ill and unable to care for themselves. A spouse does not want to put the ill spouse in a home, nor do they want to hire someone outside of the family. They decide to care for the ill spouse on their own. With the great responsibility of taking care of a sick loved one, one wonders if this could take the spark out of the relationship. In 2010, a study at the University of Buffalo concluded that there was a higher percentage of positive emotion for the ill spouse when their 'other half' was actively involved in their care. This means that when a spouse is taking care of the personal well-being of their ill spouse, there is a greater level of comfort between them. Not only is the spouse’s illness being taken care of, but their emotional well-being is also being taken care of. The ill spouse can heal, with the help of the emotional and physical support of the 'other half.' The study also showed that a spouse engaging in passive care, showed a higher risk of negative emotions between the couple. A spouse that is not active in their spouse's care, can not only hurt the ill spouse emotionally, but it could also hinder the ill spouse’s progress. If you are the spouse of someone who is fighting a terrible illness, continue to be there for them. Your love and support may be just the thing that saves them. "Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future. Concentrate the mind on the present moment."8/6/2023 "Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future. Concentrate the mind on the present moment." -Buddha This was a quote that I found in my notebook of Buddha sayings. I find this to be both an inspiring and important message. It is easy for us to get lost in the 'hustle and bustle' of this chaotic world. We are either fixated on the past, or preparing for a future that is uncertain. I certainly lived in my past. I was paralyzed by it. It wasn't until I turned off the voice of the past, and paid attention to my present. You have so much power when you just focus on what is going on in the here and now. For instance, right now I am writing this up to share with my new friends and thinking that it is such a beautiful day out. At this present time, life is pretty good. Buddha is a great teacher of 'living in the present.' The present is all we have. Is it hard to bring ourselves into the present moment? Absolutely. This is where meditation can be an invaluable tool in freeing oneself from the past and the future. Meditation came into my life during a very dark time. It has become my anchor in the present. It has healed so many wounds. Is my life perfect? Far from it. However, I am able to focus myself on what is happening in the present moment, and not be driven by chaotic darkness. I encourage everyone to practice mindfulness meditation. Close your eyes and focus on the breath (I recommend that you listen to some meditation music while you do it). When I meditate, I listen to meditation music and sounds of nature. Ocean sounds bring me the most joy. I do my meditation for 15-45 mins. When I have days where I completely unplug from the world, I meditate throughout the day. "You only fail when you stop trying." Have you ever sat around for an entire day, doing absolutely nothing? If so, what happened while you sat there? Did you learn anything, experience anything, or accomplish something? Probably not. You have nothing to report because nothing happened. You failed to embrace any adventures or life lessons. You let life slip past you. Have you ever felt unappreciated at work? Did it keep you from trying harder? What happened when you stopped climbing that ladder of success? Nothing. In fact, you probably slid down that ladder, landing back where you started. You allowed a setback to prevent you from trying harder at work. Other people got promoted ahead of you, and your superiors started to lose faith in you. You only fail when you stop trying. This goes in any aspect of life. If you stop doing all of the things you need to do in order to success, not only will you not move forward in life, you will slide backwards, down that ladder, hitting rock bottom hard. We have to create our own success. No one can hand us success. If you want to be successful, you have to put in effort. You have to keep getting up in the morning, taking care of your loved ones, going to work, working on your own health, and embracing life each and everyday. This is the only life we have. If we allow failure to take control, we are wasting precious time. Put in the hard work, and blessings will follow. You only fail when you stop trying! "If you want to find a path with no obstacles, it probably won't lead you anywhere." - Unknown8/6/2023 "If you want to find a path with no obstacles, it probably won't lead you anywhere." If we sit idly by, nothing is ever accomplished. If we look for "easy fix-its," we don't grow. In order to truly grow, we have to pick a path with obstacles. There is a strength of character that can be accomplished if we take that tough road. If we can survive that tough road, we can accomplish anything. At the same time, there is a bit of an adventure in taking that tougher road. We learn about our own strengths and weaknesses. We experience life! I've been through some doozies in life, and I wouldn't change my path for the world. My struggles have given me strength of character. In order to deal with these difficult paths, you must take it one step at a time. Don't beat yourself up if you stumble. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, breathe in the air, and keep going. Believe in yourself and your strength. Everyone you run into on this path, consider them your teachers. Take in all of their lessons, whether they be good or bad. After their lessons, continue your journey. Don't give up on yourself. You are strong enough to handle this tough path. If you do not know who Paulina is, she is one of the world's most well-known supermodels. She has had a long career, appeared in some of the biggest magazines in the world, and she continues to grow in her bad-assery. I unfortunately did not know who she was until I saw her on "Beyond the Edge." "Beyond the Edge" is a reality TV competition that places celebs in a remote place in the world. These celebs undergo physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually grueling tasks in order to raise money for charity. Paulina was one of the competitors in the show's freshman season. She competed alongside the likes of former football players and held her own. Despite incredible amounts of physical pain, she showed the most heart out of anyone on that show. She did not win the competition, but she won the hearts of those who watched the show. I was incredibly impressed by her heart, spirit, and strength. I needed to research this lady because I wanted to know what she was all about. Despite making a career as a supermodel, she feels that she was reduced to nothing as a human being. She has stated in interviews that she felt like an apple in a still life painting. She felt like she had no identity, and no voice. You are pretty much a mannequin. You cannot breathe unless told to. You can't eat unless you're told to. You can drink anything, unless you're told to. If you gain weight, even if it's half an ounce, the industry will blacklist you. You can't fucking do anything without being criticized, and in the world of social media, the entire planet is watching your every fucking move and judging the fuck out of you. Paulina is now using her voice in order to help women embrace who they are, as they are, regardless of age/weight/etc. She has been breaking the internet with strong and beautiful photos of her body. She is exuding confidence, sensuality, and boldness. She is showing women that you can be strong, sexual, and bold at any age. At the same time, she is telling the world that she is in charge of her own body, and she will do with it as she pleases. Has she been getting flack online for embracing her inner and outer goddess? Yes. However, Paulina handles these jealous, negative Nancy's with grace and class. One commenter said that "old is ugly." Paulina posted the comment and the picture they commented on, and said this: "Here’s a good follower comment- echoing a few others. A woman of 57 is “too old” to pose in a bikini - no matter what she looks like. Because “Old” is “Ugly”. I get comments like these every time I post a photo of my body. This is the ageist shaming that sets my teeth on edge. Older men are distinguished, older women are ugly. People who believe prettiness equals beauty do not understand beauty. Pretty is easy on the eyes, partly because it’s a little bland, inoffensive. It’s easy to take in and easy to forget. Not so beauty. Beauty can be sharp. It can wound you and leave a scar. To perceive beauty you have to be able to SEE. This is why I believe we get more beautiful with age. We have earned our beauty, we understand what it is, and we can see it so much better. There is no such thing as ugly and old. Only shortsighted and ignorant. #bewtweenjloandbettywhite #seasonedistasty #matureisbeautiful PS. I’m not posting this because I feel bad and need sympathy- quite on the contrary! I’m posting this because this is a pervasive sentiment that needs to be done away with. So we can be proud of aging, as we deserve to be!" Paulina is the epitome of a strong and empowering woman. I happily follow her on social media, and I am inspired by everything she posts. As a woman who is approaching 40 this year, I am looking up to women who are in the later 40s, women who are in their 50s, 60s, etc, and hoping to be as empowered and beautiful as they are. Aging doesn't have to be a curse. It is a strength if you use it wisely. Paulina is approaching aging brilliantly, and I salute her!
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