When a bathroom floor challenges you to a trust fall, don't accept the challenge!! Heed this advice if you have hardware in your spine.
Picture this: it's Monday morning. You are barely awake. You enter the bathroom with the intention of relieving your bladder from a night of pent up urine, and showering thereafter. After voiding, you prepare for your shower. You are expediting the effort so you can have everything ready before your kid wakes up. During that rush, you lose your footing and crash to the floor. During your fall, you bang your arm hard on the bathtub. While you are in seething pain from injuring your arm, you panic because of your ongoing back issues. Initially, the back pain was very minimal. You go on and prepare for the day.
An hour later, the back pain starts, and it's horrible.
This happened over 2 weeks ago. I've been in horrible pain and discomfort ever since.
Back story: I've been dealing with a spinal injury since 2013. When the pain first started, it was so agonizing and debilitating, I couldn't walk for a period of time. In 2014, I had my first spinal fusion. That surgery failed, and I developed a complication. I tried to live with it for a few years, and then things got tough again. In 2017, I had a spinal fusion revision. That surgery provided me with a few months of pain-free days. During that time, I went back into the workforce, moved out of my family home, and was completely independent. I was the happiest I had been in years. I was even talking to an ex of mine. In September of 2017, I found out I was pregnant. I wasn't happy about it because I was still healing from my spinal fusion (it takes a year to fully heal). I kept the pregnancy, and I never fully healed from the spinal revision.
My back held up well during childbirth and post-partum life. I was doing great..... up until this year.
Last week I had an MRI, and on Monday, I followed up with my Neurosurgeon's office.
She told me that one of the screws in my back is touching something it shouldn't, and if it goes even further, I could be in even more pain than I'm in now. I also have narrowing throughout the lower part of my spine, along with bulging discs. I'm having a CT Scan in a few weeks, and then I'm following up with the surgeon who operated on me. Usually when I see him, we end up talking about surgery.
That's not all..
They also found that I have an enlarged spleen. The Neurosurgeon's office is concerned enough to forward my MRI results to my primary doctor, so I have another doctor appointment to look forward to.
When I found out about the enlarged spleen, I Googled it. I highly recommend that you NEVER. GOOGLE. ANY. MEDICAL. SHIT. before talking to your doctor first. My idiot brain now thinks that my spleen could burst and I could die. I also have it ingrained in my mind that I could be sick with cancer, lupus, or anything else.
I am trying to heed the Neuro office's advice and take it easy for a while. I can't lift heavy, I have to rest, and I was given a muscle relaxer to help relieve my discomfort. I've had to resort to asking for help from those around me, and that is a hard thing for me to do.
While I am used to dealing with my back injury, I'm not used to dealing with it while being a single mom. It's like this next level challenge that I am desperate to overcome, but I'm equally terrified of. I'm trying to get through it by making light of the situation. I make a lot of jokes. For example, a few days ago, my father asked me if the doctor gave me meds for my pain and discomfort. I told him the doctors gave me meth. While I sent that response as a joke, it was half true: the medicine I was given was Methocarbamol (I didn't know how to spell it at the time).
Another person asked me why I was walking so funny the other day. I told them I was healing from a freaky sex injury. I followed up with "Never have group sex in stirrups while high as a kite."
Don't get me wrong, I am taking my situation seriously. However, I am trying to avoid going to a dark place in my mind where I allow life to shit on me. I've been there before, and it ruined everything for me. The stakes are especially high because I have a child now. If he sees mommy upset, he will get upset. I need to keep everything normal for him, and I will.
Despite all of this going on, I still plan on blogging, opening and operating my online store, and I am currently penning two books.
This is basically what I've been dealing with for the last couple of weeks. Just a few monkey wrenches. Nothing I can't handle.
#blogging #lifestyleblog #health #spinalstenosis #splenomegaly #socialmedia #positiveattitude #spinalsurgery #amblogging
If you are a woman in today's society, society expects you to be flawless.
If you are in the public eye, you have more of a target on your back. Enter Khloe Kardashian.
Khloe Kardashian used to be the strong-minded straight shooter of the Kar-Jenner clan. She was someone that all of us "normies" could look up to. She wasn't rail thin, she had a little extra, she pretty much looked like all of us. Then, she lost weight. Losing weight wasn't enough for her. She needed to be darker, have a tighter stomach, have better boobs, have a smaller chin, a narrow face, have fuller lips, and big wide eyes. This is the image of Khloe that we have been shown for the last several years.
A few days ago, an unedited image of Khloe Kardashian made its rounds on the internet.
The pic was taken by her grandmother, and shared by an assistant to the family. Khloe had a meltdown.
"How dare someone share a pic that shows the true image of Khloe, without it being heavily edited and photoshopped first? The nerve!"
She looks perfectly fine. She isn't overly tanned and her stomach is flat. She has the body of a fit 36 year old woman, who had a baby 3 years ago. All of us mamas would love to look like unedited Khloe.
Regardless of the praise she received for the unedited photo, she is still massively pissed and embarrassed that everyone now knows what she truly looks like.
Her perfect image (in her head) has been tarnished, and now she is....well, human (who knew).
Every single photo that we've seen of Khloe in the last several years has been heavily altered. Add in some plastic surgery, and we have a false representation of Khloe Kardashian. She is deeply reliant on photoshop, because she is terrified of becoming who she used to be. She thinks that if she stays perfect, then she can escape the person she once was. Sadly, she is only running away from herself. Khloe has been running for years. She needs to stop running, stop using photoshop, stop using filters, and appreciate the natural beauty that she is (she really is one of the most beautiful women in the world. Based on how she looked season 1 of KUWTK, and how she looked in the recent unedited pic, she is the most beautiful Kar-Jenner sister).
There are other reality TV stars who are also heavily addicted to photoshop and filters. They even make money off of it. Call me crazy, but I love real people. I love people who are so confident in themselves, that they don't have the desire to use photoshop and filters.
Don't get me wrong. I understand why people use these programs to alter their appearance. Before I became confident and comfortable in my own skin, I used photoshop and filters. Every selfie was altered. I look at these old selfies of mine and laugh, because I look like a fucking alien. There was one day I said out loud: "Why would I hide my freckles?" I love my freckles now. When I lost a ton of weight, I would show off my stomach. I didn't show the entire truth, however. I posed in a way that would hide my excess skin, and I used photoshop and filters to hide my stretch marks. I also made the illusion that I didn't have an excess skin roll above my belly button (my belly button isn't visible unless I lift up the skin). I lied to everyone. When I realized how much I depended on photoshop and filters in order to portray society's vision of perfection, I felt embarrassed.
When Khloe learns to love herself, she will feel that same level of embarrassment that I felt. She will want to get rid of all of those alien-like pics that she touted as being "all her."
As for me, society has no control over me. I was made unique, and there is no one else like me. I love the skin I am in, and I will not rely on software to "enhance" my beauty.
Ladies, please stop listening to society. Society doesn't know you. Society doesn't know your struggles. You don't need software to be beautiful. Being your unique self is beautiful. Embrace your curves, your stretch marks, you frizzy hair, your stomach, your scars, your teeth, everything. Can you imagine how incredible this world would be if we acted like ourselves, and not the stepford wife of society? Fucking amazing if you ask me!
If you want to use filters as a means to be silly, that's totally fine. However, if you are passing off filter pics as being "the real you," that is not okay. Stop lying to yourself. Embrace the actual you: The one that you face in the bathroom mirror every morning.
To those of you who want to spew hatred at me, you have no power here. I'm too secure with myself to take anything you people say seriously.
Pretty much all of us are attached to our electronic devices. It's hard not to be. Unfortunately, it can take a toll on our overall health, wellbeing, and soul vibrations. Too much computer time, tablet time, and phone time, can lead to addiction, depression, and anxiety. It can also take time away from yourself and your family. If there is one thing the last year has taught us, it has taught us that we need to take better care of ourselves.
Spending 24 hours away from social media and other online programs can provide you with more time in the day to focus on healing yourself. You can exercise, meal prep, spend time with family, meditate, masturbate, whatever floats your boat.
Starting Easter Sunday, I will be keeping my laptop off, my tablet off, and my only phone use will be used to communicate with family. I will turn these devices off when I go to bed on Saturday night, and I will keep them off until Monday morning (okay, so it's more than 24 hours).
I am a very spiritual person, and I feel like I can only be at my very best if my mind, body, heart, emotions, and soul are all in alignment. I cannot have distractions. I need a "spiritual recharge day."
I will be writing about my experiences with unplugging each week, and I might talk about it in my Podcasts.
#SundayFunday #Focus #Tranquility #vibrations #karma #wellbeing #wellness #spirituality #electronicdevices #socialmedia #drama