​It's everywhere: society's ideals of what the perfect body is. When you've spent the vast majority of your life overweight, these images are shoved down your throat everyday. It's overwhelming. 
If you've ever been on a weight loss journey, and you have reached your goal, there is more societal pressure to keep it off. Not only have you dealt with the pressure to lose weight, you deal with the pressure to keep it off. You can't win!

​I've struggled with my weight since I was 8 years old. I'm now 38, and while I look somewhat normal, I am overweight by BMI standards. At my highest, I was 260lbs. At my lowest, I was 138lbs. Before yesterday, I was 155lbs (I ate an entire bag of gluten free gummy worms while watching the Punky Brewster reboot, so that's probably going to add a pound or so to that number). I shouldn't be completely terrified of my lack of self-control, but I am. Why? Because there are people in my life who are expecting me to fail at keeping the weight off. They want me to go back to that place of self-loathing. These people want me to be miserable because it makes THEM feel better.
​In high school, I was bullied for my weight. Guys never talked to me, and girls shamelessly hated on me. Years later when I lost weight, these people came back into my life, called me an inspiration, and suddenly wanted to be my friend. Some of the guys wanted to be my friend too. I felt the pressure to keep my weight down. There were times where I skipped meals, and went too hard in my workouts (while dealing with a spinal injury).
​I was crumbling under the pressure.

What if we took away their power over us, and empowered ourselves to be happy no matter what size we were? I'm not saying steal my gummy worms, and down 5 pizzas in one sitting. As long as we are generally healthy, we should feel beautiful and sexy at any size. It is expected for us to be large and not in charge of our happiness. We can be small, medium, large, XL, XXL, XXXL, and more...and in charge of our happiness.
​We deserve it!

Don't let bullies, life, societal norms, and that inner voice (that sounds like society) tell you that you aren't good enough as you are. Release the pressure back into the universe and be the goddess or god that you are. 

How many of you have friends that constantly air their dirty laundry? You probably have at least one person that uses their social media like it's their diary.
They just put it all out there:
"Dear diary, I took a massive shit while thinking about my ex."
"Dear diary, my best friend is a total slut and I hate her fucking guts."
"Dear diary, I hate Khloe Kardashian, but I want the same nose job she has."
"Dear diary, why aren't my friends on Facebook reacting to my posts? I need to be in the spotlight! They all suck."

We are all guilty of oversharing our dirty laundry. 

Back in the day, I overshared my personal life so much, people stopped talking to me. They would unfriend me, block me, and never speak to me again. These were all people that knew me in real life!

These aren't even my worst offenses. After one birthday, I screamed at all the people who did not wish me a happy birthday. I threatened a mass deletion from my friends list. I was a total cunt to everyone.

Through the years, I overshared the most after bad relationships ended, when I was diagnosed with Celiac disease and a few other autoimmune diseases, when I injured my back, and when I had shitty work days. During my early days on Facebook, I was dealing with a string of bad dating experiences. I would cry like a psycho over these guys, call myself fugly, and tell people I will end up alone. Seeing these posts come up in Facebook memories makes me want to go back in time and smack myself across the face, with a cinderblock. 

Every time we react to something, whether it's cursing someone out, or airing our dirty laundry on social media, we give away a piece of us. We give away our power. We are pretty much whoring out our soul. We are also giving people receipts to hurt us when they see fit. Bel-lieve- me, I am a control freak, I always have to have the final say in everything. I need to walk away from situations, knowing that I stung the fuck out of the person who attacked me. I had to change this about myself because it was weakening me. It's like when you drink alcohol to numb emotional and physical pain. Sure, it works for an hour or two, but the problem is still waiting for you when the numbness wears off. 

The only way to avoid all of that (and save money on booze), is to stop airing dirty laundry, gain some perspective on life, and never be in a position where you freely give away your power. 

Here are a few suggestions in which you can use your power for something good:

Art.
I have been enamored with art for most of my life. I even minored in art in college. My favorite medium is charcoal, and I plan on creating designs that I will be selling. 

Gardening.
During the warmer months, I love to grow my own food and herbs. There's something incredibly therapeutic about the process of gardening (plus it's a decent calorie burn). 

Exercise.
Getting a little exercise definitely helps release the stress. 

Volunteer/Get involved in activism.
One of the things that helped me gain some perspective was expanding my knowledge about the world and various struggles. I learned about how a lot of countries have been damaged by the virus. Families have been separated, kids are being sold into sex trafficking rings, and little girls are being sold to middle-aged men as child brides. These little girls are raped and killed by their captives. While this has been happening for centuries, it has gotten worse with the pandemic. It is brutal out there, and it doesn't make sense to complain about white girl privilege. I have been involved in a ton of activism since my eyes have been opened. The world needs change, and knowing what's going on out there has helped me be less selfish. I am taking the power that I used during my selfish times, and pouring it into helping the world be a better place. Find a cause, find many causes, and help make the world a better place. 

​These are just some of the ways in which we can use our energies for good. I know I didn't mention family and close friends in my suggestions, but these are a given. Family should always be #1. Whether it's the family you were born into, or the one you chose for yourself, always choose them (the ones that aren't toxic anyway). 

I talk more in depth about this topic on my Podcast, which you can listen to here (Look for Sassy and Unfiltered: Airing Dirty Laundry and Giving Away Your Power). Take a drink every time I say "you know."