The importance of self-compassion.

It goes without saying that the last year has been the most chaotic and stressful in recent memory. The world was enveloped in a nasty pandemic, and our lives were completely turned upside down. People lost jobs, kids were taken out of school, money was extremely tight, and we lost loved ones. In several countries, we saw a serious increase in human trafficking, slavery, child brides, rapes, and domestic violence.
As humans, we aren't equipped to handle such extreme and sudden changes. We revolt, rebel, take it out on other people, and we even take it out on ourselves. According to statistics, depression rose exponentially during the lockdowns. We watched the pandemic get played out in the Presidential Election last year. At that point, the pandemic became less of a health crisis, and more like a political arena. This didn't help the average citizen much, as we all struggled to understand and deal with changes. 

Many of us are guilty of being too hard on ourselves during the pandemic. We scold ourselves for not saving money, we scold ourselves for being furloughed, and we scold ourselves for not being stricter with our kids during distance learning. We get mad at ourselves when we cannot focus working from home.
It's a lot of stress, and we end up taking it out on everyone. 

Self-Compassion

Self-compassion can help us better deal with the stressors of our new normal. 
Self-compassion is made up of 3 main components: mindfulness, self-kindness, and common humanity. 

• Mindfulness is the art of bringing our attention to the present moment, sans judgment. It is an element of Buddhist tradition (I will go into further detail about mindfulness in a later post). 
• Self-kindness is the art of being warm and kind toward oneself, rather than engage in criticizing oneself. 
• Common humanity involves recognizing that hardships and suffering are a part of the shared human experience. For example, "I am so stressed out about money. I know that others are in this situation too." "My kid won't stop screaming. I'm so stressed out! I know that other moms are going through the same thing. Let me harness my mom strength and comfort my child."

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​There are many ways we can engage in self-compassion (below are a few ideas):

1. A quick self-compassion break. If things get extra stressful, take a moment and repeat your prompts of mindfulness, self-kindness, and common humanity.
2. Change that critical self-talk, missy/sir! This exercise is a recurring reflection on the nature of our self-criticism. During this exercise, we are asked to acknowledge when we are being self-critical, react with compassion, and to change the language of our inner critic. 
3. Journaling once a week can help you reflect on self-criticisms, hardships, and other stressors. We can look at these events through the lens of self-compassion (mindfulness, self-kindness, common humanity).

Self-forgiveness is a part of self-compassion, and it consists of accepting oneself as their are. We accept ourselves, despite our flaws and negative judgment from others. 

You may be wondering: "I don't have time for this. I have to make money. I have to feed my babies. I have to clean this damn house. I have too much going on, and everyone is depending on me. I can't start this shit during a pandemic."

Honestly, there is no better time to start this than DURING a pandemic. If you utilize these skill now, there is NOTHING that can bring you down. It will make you less self-critical, and it will make you a much better partner, parent, and employee. Better yet, it will help you sleep better and feel better. Best of all, it's FREE!

Here's some more information about self-compassion: Self-Compassion (self-compassion.org)
I've been doing the same program, and it helps tremendously.