Handling ghosting, which is when someone abruptly stops communicating with you or disappears from your life, can be emotionally challenging.
Here are some steps to help you navigate this situation:
Earlier this year, I was ghosted by someone I had fallen in love with. The relationship was toxic from the beginning, but I had 'love goggles' on and did not see what was happening in front of me. This same person cheated on me. It was a painful heartbreak. Instead of wallowing, I poured into my own cup. I began a self-care journey, which consisted of clay masks, sheet masks, foot masks, pedicures, dinners, movies, popcorn, and the occasional glass of Merlot. I processed my emotions and worked through them. Over time, I was able to get over her and move forward with my life. I am currently in an amazing relationship, and it never would have happened if I hadn't poured into my own cup.
While my ex did me wrong, I harbor no ill will toward her. While I have forgiven her, I did not forgive her for her benefit. I forgave her for me, so I can be free. When you don't forgive someone, they have power over you, and that grows the longer they have that power. The only way to reclaim that power is to forgive them. I'm telling you, it's worth it! Finally forgiving someone who has done you wrong is like taking an energy shot. It brings you to life. It raises your vibration. It's a beautiful feeling!
Trust me, I know it's hard to forgive someone who ghosted you. You want bad things to happen to them. The one thing I can tell you is that you need to reclaim your power. The person that ghosted you lacks a soul, which is why they need your energy. Take that energy back and watch them sink themselves. God/Karma/Life can take care of people far better than we can. Reclaim that power, and move forward!
#ghosting #ghosted #dating #relationships #romance #love #breakups #contentcreator #socialmedia
Ever sat in front of your phone (or computer), expecting to hear back from someone that you had a great date with? I'm sure most of you have. You sit there thinking about how attractive this person was, how great the conversation was, and how delicious the dinner was. A smile appears on your face, and you light up inside.
However, you realize that it's been about a week, and you haven't heard from them. Suddenly, the smile disappears, and you feel puzzled.
You go to that place in your head where you start making excuses for their obvious ghosting:
We fail to realize the possibility that the date may not have been as good for them as it was for us. We fail to realize that they didn't care to maintain contact with you. Why? Because they didn't connect with you.
We call them, thinking that maybe they forgot your number. They don't answer. You leave a message on their voice mail, with your number included in the message. They don't call back. The next day, you call them again. It goes straight to voice mail. You leave a message. Again, they don't call back. Now, disappointment ensues.
"Why haven't they called?" "Why haven't they called ME back?"
There are two sides to every story.
Dating is a volatile environment. If both parties have a different story about how a date went, obviously you both didn't connect on a higher level. In your eyes, the date went well. They smiled a lot, listened to you talk, maintained eye contact with you, and hugged you before parting ways. All the signs of interest were present.
Or were they?
People go on dates in order to see what kind of person sparks their interest on a deeper level. True, you met the qualifications appearance-wise, but did you spark their interest intellectually? If they aren't making contact with you after the date, you may not have sparked their interest. They don't know how to tell you they aren't interested, because they are afraid of hurting your feelings.
"Well, I called them...why didn't they call me back?"
The primal nature of the masculine energy (this can be a male or female) is that they are the hunters. If they want something bad enough, they get it, including the feminine energy.
Masculine energies like being in charge, so if a feminine energy pursues a masculine energy, they are less likely to be interested in you. Yes, we live in more progressive times, but dating is still an old-fashioned environment. Don't take control of the situation. Let the masculine energy lead.
If a masculine energy is truly interested in a feminine energy, it doesn't matter how busy a person is, they WILL call. Sometimes, they may call a few times a day, even if they hate the phone. If you've stolen the masculine's heart, they will bend over back words to make you happy. Masculine energies find a way to communicate with the object of their desire.
"So, they aren't interested in me. Now what?"
Live your life as you did before you went out to dinner with them. It isn't the end of the world if you didn't meet their interest. Not all people meet YOUR interest, right? I'm sure you don't call those people back. Like masculine energies, you don't know how to tell them you don't like them, and you don't want to hurt their feelings. Both sexes do it, so it's hard to hold either in a higher standard.
If both the masculine and feminine energies have a different story about how a date went, obviously you both didn't connect. If a person doesn't call you, it isn't the end of the world. Keep living your life, and the right one will come around when you least expect it.
(previously featured on Yahoo! Contributor and The Water Cooler)
We all want to have a long lasting, healthy relationship. We want a relationship that will span the rest of our lives. We want an equal partnership with our beloved.
Unfortunately, as one embarks on a relationship with someone new, this person could become co-dependent on their partner. They could become clingy and be desperate to spend all of their time with the one they love.
A co-dependent relationship is defined as one person clinging onto their partner, desperate for their approval. They look for approval from their partner in order to feel self-fulfilled. Those who are co-dependent look to their partner in order to boost their self-worth. Their identity is wrapped up in their partner.
This can be quite unhealthy. It can increase the co-dependent's neediness. It can also make their partner miserable.
How can one tell if they are in a co-dependent relationship?
Is your life unsatisfying outside of your relationship? Are you constantly breaking plans with your friends because you do not want to leave your partner's side?
Are you giving so much support and attention to your partner, that it costs you your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health?
If any of those ring true to you, you may be in a co-dependent relationship.
How can one change their co-dependence on their partner?
While many individuals may be told to break up with their partner, this may not be your best solution to the problem. Setting goals in your relationship, that satisfies you and your partner, can be the first step in rectifying the issue at hand.
Also, making time for friends and family can help one to break out of a co-dependence on their partner. Try to find activities and hobbies that you can do on your own or with friends.
Giving your partner some breathing room can do wonders for your relationship. While you have a relationship, you also have your own life. Remind yourself that "Absence makes the heart grow fonder."
(Previously featured on my examiner.com page)
Falling in love is the most incredible feeling in the world. However, it can also be incredibly lonely if your beloved does not return your affection. You try everything to get this person to love you back, but they are not responding to your advances.
What is unrequited love?
Unrequited love is a longing for a person who does not share your affection. No matter how much you pursue the object of your affection, they will not share your feelings. Even those in a committed relationship can suffer the pain from unrequited love. The person you love could leave you unexpectedly.
Signs that your partner does not reciprocate your feelings:
The sure-fire sign that the one you love does not return your love is a lack of communication. If your partner leaves without giving you a reason why, they are showing you that you are not their priority.
Here are some other signs to look for:
Similar to the 12-step program, the first step to recovering from unrequited love, is to admit that there is a problem.
After you admit to yourself that your feelings are not being reciprocated, the next step is to remove yourself from the situation. This can be quite painful, but removing yourself from unrequited love can open yourself up to loving yourself more. It is the first step toward healing.
Once you remove yourself from the situation, and start loving yourself, an entire world opens up to you. You start smiling more and appreciating everything (and everyone) that you have. In fact, you will begin to see right through people's facades. You will also be open to the type of love that you deserve.
(Previously published on my examiner.com page)
Embarking on a new relationship is both exciting and scary. As the relationship grows and matures, you develop a mutual love and trust with your significant other. However, in the age of social media websites, one may wonder if we should share our passwords with our significant others.
Even though you are in a relationship with someone, your partner is entitled to their privacy, and they are entitled to keep their passwords private.
However, there are a few exceptions:
Social networking sites are available for people to stay in contact with friends and family. There is no right or wrong answer in terms of whether or not you should share your passwords with your partner. It all depends on your relationship. If you suspect that your partner is misbehaving, talk to your partner about it. Don’t go behind their back and cause unnecessary drama.
Using your best judgment will help you and your partner enjoy being on social networking sites.
Below are a couple of stats to show you how many people share their passwords with their significant others.
The dating world is a battlefield. Humans are groomed by family and society to look for that one person who can sweep you off your feet. Often times, our friends and family members will ask us about our love lives, and if we are seeing anyone special. If we're not, we groan in response, and roll our eyes at the meddling friend and/or family member.
Many of you may have that friend who will come up to us and tell us that they know someone who would be perfect for us. Our friend asks us to list off what we are looking for in a partner. Our friend goes to our potential partner and asks them what they are looking for. Both parties list the qualities that they are looking for in a partner. Then, the subject of physical appearance is brought up.
When women first begin talking to a guy online, one of the first questions the guy will ask is what the woman looks like. Women may be nervous to answer, so they answer the guy's question with: "What do you look for in a woman?" Guys begin listing their likes and dislikes. They like a woman's eyes, smile, lips, tits, ass, no fupa, etc. In terms of size, you may find quite a number of men whose ideal woman is fit. Some men are adamant about dating a woman who is a specific body type. You may come across men who like their women to have curves.
This does go both ways. When men talk to women online, women want to get an idea of who they are talking to. Some women like a man to be muscular. Some women like to be with men who aren't muscular. With women, we tend to pay more attention to personality than body type (I've dated muscular, skinny, average, tall, short, and overweight people. Douchebags come in all shapes and sizes).
To answer the question of size, and what men and women want, there isn't a right or wrong question. Women tend to factor in a personality before factoring in a man's body type. In terms of men, men are different, and to think that all men want a Victoria's Secret model is rather silly. Some men do fancy the Victoria's Secret models, and that's fine. However, there are men out there that like a little Beyoncé, Scarlett Johansson, Mia Tyler, Tess Holiday, Lizzo, etc.
The physical attributes of a woman spike a man's interest. A personality is what hooks them.
So, if you're out there in the dating world, just be yourself. Be proud of who you are. You may have to deal with a lot of frogs before you find that prince (or princess). If finding 'the one' is your jam, don't give up.
In the meantime, fall in love with yourself. Fall in love with your teeth, your stomach, your breasts, your hair, your fupa (ladies, if you have one, don't be ashamed of it. The right partner will salivate at it), your unibrow, your extra bits, your crooked toe, etc. Fall in love with ALL. OF. IT! Once you love and accept yourself, the right caliber of people will be insanely attracted to you.
Relationships can be exciting, intoxicating, and overall powerful. But they can be a world of trouble if you allow it to take control over your entire life.
Once you begin a relationship, many people are at risk of spending TOO much time with their new loves, and less time with their friends and family. We've all done it. When things begin to get serious in a relationship, life becomes more of a "we" and less of an "I." While becoming a "we" in life is pretty exciting, you need to remember that alone time in relationships is just as important as together time in relationships.
What I mean is, if you spend TOO much time together, you could grow tired of your love and begin to resent them. Spending time apart is healthy. Let your significant other have some alone time. Let them watch TV on their own, or play computer games by themselves for a few hours. Let them go out with their friends and not go with them. Go out with your friends without your other half. Watch TV on your own. Go for a walk by yourself. Take yourself out.
Just because you are in a relationship, it doesn't mean you stop the relationship you have with yourself. You NEED to keep strengthening that relationship you have with yourself. You need to keep that self-esteem leveled. You need to keep your confidence there. Yes, you want to spend time with the one you love, but, in love, you also need to make sacrifices for the one you love. Give the one you love some space to breath and be on their own for a little bit. You know they love you. You know they are coming home to you. Why spend 24/7 with them when you know you will spend the rest of your life with them?
Also, you need this time alone just as much as they do. Get stuff done too. You know you have stuff to do. Tackle that project that you've been putting off. In no time, that gnawing feeling to go sit by your beloved will fade away and you will be focused on your project. Time will fly by, and you and your beloved will soon reunite, and it will be perfect.
Friends, you NEED boundaries in any relationships, and in marriages. If you love the person(s) in your life, give them the space they need to keep them sane. You aren't neglecting them by giving them the space. You are loving them from afar. :-)
Valentine's Day is fast approaching and if you're a last-minute shopper, you're probably stumped as to what to get the special person in your life. Sure, chocolates, flowers, teddy bears, and whatnot are nice, but they are also predictable and boring. Not to mention, your sweetheart will be expecting it.
Break away from tradition and get her something that will really "WOW" her!
Name a Star after her.
Since 1978, Name a Star has allowed people to name a star for someone special. This is an eternal gift, one that will touch her heart forever.
Check out www.nameastar.com for more information.
Subscription boxes seem to be the "in" thing these days. Give her the gift that keeps on giving. There are many subscription boxes to choose from, ranging from bra boxes to spa boxes to jewelry boxes.
If you want to go the candy route, consider getting her candy with her name on it.
Check out www.justcandy.com for ideas!
Personalized Wine Bottles
Is your sweetheart a fan of wine? Get her a personalized bottle of wine!
Check out www.personalwine.com for details!
"Our Story" blanket
Men seem to have the reputation of forgetting important dates. Impress the love of your life by telling your love story on a blanket, using important dates. Dates such as your first date, first kiss, first time saying "I love you," day of proposal, wedding date, birthday, birthdate of kids, etc.
You can personalize your love story here: www.personalcreations.com/product/our-story-plush-blanket-30223417?productgroup=plarbsl&sk=&ref=PCRorganicyahunkwn&prid=pcseoyu&viewpos=98&ratings=4.66670000&reviews=3&trackingpgroup=plarbsl
Fellas, make this the best Valentine's Day yet with any of the above declarations of your love!
Jealousy is defined as being an emotion of resentment and insecurity. It is an overwhelming fear of possibly losing something very important to a person.
When it comes to romance, jealously is an emotion that has the capability to destroy a relationship. Even though jealousy has the potential to destroy a relationship, can even a little bit of jealousy be healthy?
Why do humans feel jealous in the first place? The overwhelming feeling of jealousy could stem from a childhood trauma. For example: a parent could show favoritism for a sibling, and not the other child. A child may have started feeling jealous when their friends began hanging out with the new kid more, and not them. The origin of jealousy could also stem from a lack of self-esteem. The person could feel inadequate, thinking that their lover would be better off without them. They may think that the waitress serving them is more attractive than they are, which is why their lover was looking at her.
This could make the jealous person lash out at their lover. The feelings of jealousy could drive the jealous person to become a detective: following their lover and accusing their lover of cheating. The jealous person could hack into their lover’s social media profiles, messaging every person on their lover’s friends list. The jealous person could even violently go after the person they suspect their lover of cheating with. This type of jealousy is a relationship destroyer.
However, a tiny bit of jealousy could actually ignite a spark in the relationship. The jealous person could utilize their jealousy by stepping up to the plate and showing their lover how much they mean to them. The emotion of jealousy could make the jealous person want to be a better partner and lover. This could show their lover that their partner would do anything for them. It shows the lover that their partner is grateful to have their lover in their life.
A little bit of jealousy in a relationship is very healthy, if it makes a person a better partner and lover.
There is one rule I live by when it comes to relationships: Never stop courting your boyfriend/fiancé/husband or girlfriend/fiancée/wife, even after you have them.
In any relationship, disagreements are bound to happen. They could be triggered as a result from a stressful day at work, or a spouse could have said something that came out the wrong way. Whatever was said and done, an argument could occur. How well a couple handles the disagreement can show both partners how strong the relationship really is.
Couples can improve the situation by working as a team.
The following are ways that couples can diffuse a disagreement, before it escalates out of control.